Confessing God's Healing or Seeking God's Sovereignty?

When this journey first began, I was very thankful that there such strong support from family, friends, bosses and colleagues.

Josie's (my wife) family was extremely supportive and they were the first few to know about my conditions and the immediately gathered around me to lend their support and prayer, even those who are non-Christian.  This had truly touched me and I am thankful that they are standing by and supporting their sister, Josie. On the same weekend that I was informed of the confirmed diagnosis, the family had gathered and prayed and had communion. Josie's brother, who is Pastor led in worship, sharing of the Word and celebrated communion.

They had started a prayer group using Whatsapp and regularly post scriptures, share their thoughts, send words of encouragement and update each other about my journey. I am very appreciate of it especially my 2nd Sis-In-Law with her daily morning post.  When I wake up in the morning, one of the first posts is usually from her.

There was one particular day before the start of my chemotherapy when I had shared with Josie about my thoughts because the family is concerned that I don't seem to be professing God's healing in my life, that I seem nonchalant about it.

The following is how the conversation went (sort of), I said to Josie: "Which is easier, to ask God for healing or to ask Him to take sovereignty over my life?"

I was telling Josie that it is easier to ask for healing. It is far more difficult to ask and yield to God’s sovereignty.  Anybody can ask for healing, there is no magic to it. You just have to say it, just pray it, and just confess it. It’s a no brainer. It’s too easy.

Asking and yielding to God’s sovereignty?  Now, in my opinion, that is altogether another proposition.  Yielding requires a much deeper kind of action, it is deliberate, and it requires conscious effort constantly lest we get distracted and lose sight of God and thus lost the way.

It is from this perspective that I do not specifically and directly ask God for healing.  I would rather let God take sovereignty over my life. When that truly can be accomplished, I would enter into a closer relation with God where I would know His will intrinsically and asking for healing at any time and it would only be done in accordance to His will and not trying to “bend” His will to our needs.

In the example of Solomon, he could have asked God for ANYTHING and God would have granted him his desire. However, Solomon asked for wisdom that to common folks is not logical. Who would not want power, wealth, influence, extension of earthly kingdom and much more? Still, Solomon asked for wisdom for with wisdom came knowledge and using modern adage, knowledge is power.  Therefore, with wisdom, Solomon also gained what he had not asked for as God acknowledges the choice that Solomon had made and that it is a good choice and thus everything else was given to Solomon.

In the similar way, I do not ask for healing but I ask for something that is higher, more significant, more in line with the desire of God and that is to let Him have control, let Him be sovereign.  For those who know me, I don’t normally do things the easy way but rather, I would do things the right way (or at least try to) or in manners that would pave and make the way easier either for myself or for others who come after me.  Once God is sovereign in my life, I would have entered into a different relationship with God, with Jesus, where I would be experiencing Him and I would know His will and pray according to His will.

In Psalms 23: 4, it reads “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me;”

It does not read “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I pray that the Lord be with me for I fear evil;”

Do I ask for healing? Of course! As I had said before, this is a no brainer. I want to see Nathan grow up to be 21 (at least).

Do I desire the sovereignty of God? Of course! This to me is far more important than asking for healing because it forms the foundation of my faith.

Back to the question, do I confess God's healing or seek His sovereignty? My answer is that I seek His sovereignty first and foremost and everything else is secondary.  This is because I believe once God is sovereign, everything will be set according to His will including my healing REGARDLESS.

In one of my earlier blog, I said that we tend to take the life that God had given us for granted. With my condition, I see things differently now, things that God had given are precious and this include whatever extension He gives for my life.

I give myself to Him or at least I am trying my darn best.

In God I Trust