Post-Chemotherapy Cycle #05 Comment #02

Perhaps posted a little too early for the last comment (#01).

The last 3 days was very draining and I found myself sleeping through almost the whole afternoon.  I guess it is good that I am finally taking some rest but a little distressing that I need to take such long rest when in all the previous cycles, I did not really need so much physical rest.

Generally, I am still ok with very good appetite.  The nose bleed is slowly healing and so are the ulcers. Still a good few days and I was still able to move around, going to the farms/wholesalers to buy fresh veggies, eggs and fishes.

 

Did not post much this time round as not much inspiration coming my way, don’t worry, something will crop up.

God is good and In Him I Trust.

Post-Chemotherapy Cycle #05 Comment #01

I did not post yesterday as I took the opportunity to rest a bit. Josie helped by bringing Nathan out in the afternoon for a long outing.

For this particular cycle, I believe God has been very good to me. The side-effects were not as potent and I was generally feeling very good.  The nausea was almost non-existence but the sugar level as usual spiked due to the steroids I’m taking.  Consequent to the higher blood sugar level, I have been going to the toilet more often and thus dehydrated despite drinking lots of water.  This is part and parcel of the diabetic condition and because of the dehydration, the blood pressure is low.

Don’t worry though as these conditions are no big deals when managed properly.

Going to TTSH later to have the pump removed.

God is good and In Him I Trust.

Chemotherapy Cycle #05 Comment

This week is a little different.  Normally my chemotherapy is on a Wednesday but because this Friday is a holiday and I need to go back to the hospital to have my pump removed, this week's therapy is today (Thursday) and I go back on Saturday to have the pump removed.

The session started at around 9:30 am and finished at around 2pm. The clinic is a very busy today because tomorrow is a holiday.

Things proceed as usual and nothing special to report and I generally feel alright after the therapy but the “heavy” nausea kicked-in at about 4pm and I am very sleepy but could not really go to sleep and when I do for the ½ minutes to a couple of minutes, it was fleeting.

Had early lunch at TTSH during the therapy session as I knew I will be home late. Still managed to eat at about 3+pm and holding the food down well although the stomach and intestine is feeling somewhat queasy.

That is all for now. The nurses at the clinic are concerned about my platelet count and I ask for prayer that the platelet level to be increased or at least do not decrease anymore. The platelet count is crucial for my continual chemotherapy.  As of now, the condition is stable.

In God I Trust.

Doctor's Appointment on 24 Oct / CT and Lab Results

Saw the Oncologist today.

Originally, the cancer had spread to the liver. The CT scan last week showed that the cancer in the liver had regressed. This is backed up by the Liver Panel lab test that showed that my liver function is back to normal. Not totally out of the wood yet though and will see the outcome after another 4 cycles of chemotherapy.

The pancreatic tumor at the head of the pancreas is still there and is still the same size as before. It is a good sign though as the tumor had not increased in size which means that the chemotherapy is keeping it in check.

Other morphological report includes the following:

·       The hepatic portal vein is totally occluded but new blood vessels had grown around it from the intestine to the liver.

·       The remaining part of the pancreas (body and tail) is still enlarged but this is no change from before the start chemotherapy. Again at this stage no change is good news.

·       The spleen is enlarged but this is because part of the blood vessels supplying blood to the spleen is occluded but the Oncologist says it is of no concern at this point. I will verify it with my general medicine specialist and my surgeon in mid-November.

·       There is early indication of possible occlusion of the bile duct but physical observation and lab result does not support this conclusion.

All my other lab result is within the expected ranges with only the red blood cell and platelet count been below optimal level. The Oncologist is not concerned about the red blood cell count but is monitoring the platelet count closely.

Bottom-line... I am doing well.

Praise God for carrying me so far and I thank God too for Josie, the family, cell members, church members and colleagues for the support.

In God I Trust.

Pre-Chemotherapy Cycle #05 / Communion

Let’s start with my physical health.

This morning, went to TTSH to have my blood drawn for tests.  I will be seeing the oncologist in the afternoon for my regular follow-up and to get the report for the CT scan done last week.  Praying for a positive outcome in the report, i.e. Tumor is gone or smaller.

Generally, I am doing well, gained some weight, about ½ kg since last week, blood pressure reading is good considering that I had stopped my hypertensive medication. There is still the minor nose bleed and from observing the bleeding when I do my finger prick for blood sugar/glucose test, platelet level is probably on the borderline low but will get the actual result this afternoon.

I am starting to get complain from Josie for the amount and frequency of meals/food I take. I know I should control myself because of the diabetes but I do feel and hungry easily.

Hair is still dropping but slowly though. Not so much that I need to shave the head yet.

Let see what is prognosis is and I will update with another blog post tonight.

******************************

The church had again graciously agreed to organize communion for my family with attendance from family, cell group and friends on Tuesday, 23^rd Oct.

Vicar/Pastor was not able to conduct communion this time around but church had arranged for the Pastor from the Chinese congregation who is an old friend going back to the 80’s to relieve Vicar.

The passage read was from James 5:13-16:

¹³ Is anyone among you suffering? Then he must pray. Is anyone cheerful? He is to sing praises. ¹⁴ Is anyone among you sick? Then he must call for the elders of the church and they are to pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; ¹⁵ and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up, and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him. ¹⁶ Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. (NASB)

Several points were expounded upon. These were:

a)      If anyone is in trouble or suffering, they must pray and troubles can include illnesses.

b)      Ask for the elders to pray and in the Anglican context, we ask the Pastor (Elder) to pray.

c)      Pray in faith as faith is an important element for healing.

d)     For healing to occur, there is also an element of sin and of sins that need to be confessed.

On the point of faith, if a person is not healed, it does not mean that the person does not have faith. However, faith is needed if a person is to be healed.

There are 2 forms of healing:

·         Natural

·         Supernatural

Natural healing refers to healing through natural course of nature (i.e. The body fighting off the infection), through medication, therapy, etc.

Supernatural healing refers to the act of God, the miracle effect from God and done out of God’s sovereignty regardless of the righteousness or sinful status of the person.

Therefore, we need to pray for healing, act on faith, confess our sin. Sin may be hidden such that we may not realize it and so, we need seek God for revelation. His sovereign ways and will are often beyond imagination but ultimately, we depend on God’s sovereignty for the healing to occur.

Only one song was sung during communion and it is “IN CHRIST ALONE” by Keith Getty and Stuart Townend. Seem like every time, when communion is conducted for me and the family, there is always one song with verses that held significant meaning for me and even though only one song was sang, it contains specific significance for me.

IN CHRIST ALONE

Words and Music by Keith Getty and Stuart Townend

© 2001 Thankyou Music (Admin. by EMI Christian Music Publishing).

Verse 1

In Christ alone my hope is found,

He is my light my strength, my song;

This Cornerstone, this solid Ground,

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.

What heights of love, what depths of peace,

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease.

My Comforter, my All in All.

Here in the love of Christ I stand.

Verse 2

In Christ alone, who took on flesh,

Fullness of God in helpless babe!

This gift of love and righteousness,

Scorned by the ones He came to save.

Till on that cross as Jesus died,

The wrath of God was satisfied.

For ev’ry sin on Him was laid;

Here in the death of Christ I live.

Verse 3

There in the ground His body lay,

Light of the world by darkness slain;

Then, bursting forth in glorious Day,

Up from the grave He rose again!

And as He stands in victory,

Sin's curse has lost its grip on me;

For I am His and He is mine,

Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

Verse 4

No guilt in life, no fear in death,

This is the pow’r of Christ in me;

From life's first cry to final breath,

Jesus commands my destiny.

No pow’r of hell, no scheme of man,

Can ever pluck me from His hand;

Till He returns or calls me home,

Here in the pow’r of Christ I'll stand!

The entire verse 4 can easily be used as a summary of all that I had posted so far in my blog, of my dependency in God, in Him is stand, trusting Him in every way. Of particular significance in verse 4 is the line “From life's first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny.” This line speaks exactly of my personal proclamation of God’s sovereignty, that Jesus commands my destiny and so there is no fear, not even death.

In the last 2 days, another song was swimming in my head and it is:

AWESOME IN THIS PLACE

Words and Music by Dave Billington

© 1992 Integrity's Hosanna! Music

Verse

As I come into Your presence,

Past the gates of praise,

Into Your sanctuary till we’re standing face to face;

I look upon Your countenance,

I see the fullness of Your grace,

And I can only bow down and say.

Chorus

“You are awesome in this place, Mighty God,

You are awesome in this place, Abba Father;

You are worthy of all praise,

To You our lives we raise,

You are awesome in this place, Mighty God.”

If you read the chorus, perhaps it has to do with my post on “Boasting In The Lord” and perhaps it is God’s prompting but whatever the case may be, the words of this song need not be explained.

God is awesome, the words in the verse speak of the feeling in my heart for I am in His presence, living on his grace and In Him I Trust…

Boasting In The Lord (Revised on 21 Oct, 9:30pm)

I was in church today to pass an old semi-automatic SLR camera to a church member who appreciated such type of old cameras, considering that I had not touched that particular camera for close to 12 or 13 years since the advent of the digital photography.  Used to be a hobby for me but it was a little expensive with films, processing and printing and consume some real estate with the storage of the prints.

Anyway, while in church, I met a church staff and she asked me how I was and I replied “I’m OK, I looked good right? And if you did not know I’ve got cancer, you can’t tell right?”

My mind started working very quickly and at that moment, I realized that I was boasting and I quickly added that “God is good to me, very good to me…” and as I was leaving church, I was reminded of 1 Corinthians 1:31, I have included here verse 26 to 31.

1 Corinthians 1:26-31
²⁶For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble; ²⁷but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, ²⁸and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, ²⁹so that no man may boast before God. ³⁰But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption, ³¹so that, just as it is written, “LET HIM WHO BOASTS, BOAST IN THE LORD.” (NASB)

After reading from verse 26 onward, I realised that for my personal life, verse 31 is not the key point.  The key is the entire passage from verses 26 to 31.  There are those who just point to verse 31 and just say that we must boast in the Lord and often boast of things like, “He gave me straight “A”s”, “I got a promotion”, “I got a huge bonus”, “God made me prosperous”, “God made me not be late for an interviews”… etc, etc.

Before I get flamed for the comment above, I‘m not saying that boasting that you got straight “A”s, promotion, bonus, prosperity, etc are wrongs, in fact for all these we should give thanks and praise God as it is His rights to receive our thanks and praise.

After reflecting on the term "Boast" or "Boasting" and "Give thanks and praise", I do believe that there is a distinction.  We should by all means give thanks and praise to God for all the things that he had done or not done and I had briefly shared about God answering or not answering prayer in the blog subject "Is God Fair?"

The online merriam-webster dictionary defines boast/boasting as:

·         intransitive verb

              i.            to puff oneself up in speech : speak vaingloriously

·         transitive verb

              i.            to speak of or assert with excessive pride

            ii.            to possess and often call attention to (something that is a source of pride)

From www.thefreedictionary.com, one of the definitions of “Boasting” is:

·         Blow one’s own trumpet

·         To brag or boast; to call attention to one’s own accomplishments, usually with the implication that no one else is likely to do so; also, to toot one’s own horn.

In essence, “boasting” in its basic forms draws attention on oneself rather than God and my failing is in the “boasting” and I had boasted of brag to the church worker.

Read the 2 following passages.

2 Corinthians 10-17-18
¹⁷But HE WHO BOASTS IS TO BOAST IN THE LORD. ¹⁸For it is not he who commends himself that is approved, but he whom the Lord commends. (NASB)

Jeremiah 9:23-24
²³Thus says the LORD, “Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches; ²⁴but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the LORD who exercises lovingkindness, justice and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things,” declares the LORD. (NASB)

I had thus centered the goodness of God onto myself and boasted about myself rather than God and what a slap to the side of the head I had received from God.

For all the good that God had done, give thanks, praise Him, shout hallelujah to the Lord and give Him all glory but do not boast. Therefore, let him who boast, boast in the Lord. It is not the straight “A”s, promotion, bonus, prosperity, etc, that are to be boasted, it is God that should be boasted.

Boast in the Lord always that we understand and know Him, that He is the LORD who exercises lovingkindness, justice and righteousness on earth; for He delight in these things.

He taught me this lesson today and for that, I am thankful.

In God I Trust.

Post-Chemotherapy Cycle #04 Comment #05

For those how are following the blog, apology is there were no posting over the last 2 days. From morale standpoint, a little disappointed that the blog following is petering off with lesser people reading the blog but no worries, sufficient is the knowledge that those who are concerned are still following the blog and I thank God and these folks.

I was at TTSH today to have a CT scan done to determine the progress of the therapy. I have to say that beyond what we know, believed and prayed and accept by faith, the chemotherapy is in the word of the oncologist “palliative” but God and can do far better. The next appointment with the Oncologist is on Wednesday, 24 October.  The CT report will be made known then.  As usual, Josie was by my side.

Have been feeling well this few days and the only drawbacks are the ulcers in the mouth, lots of wing, and still slight lethargy.

Believed God is doing a marvelous job in my life as most people I met say that I look well despite the chemotherapy. Of course they don’t know feelings from the looks but I am still thankful that I can engage in most everyday normal activities.

For these, I thank God and in Him I Trust.

Post-Chemotherapy Cycle #04 Comment #04

The recovery this time seem a little slower and I am still feeling a little lethargic but at least the blood sugar reading is reverting back to the normal diabetic pattern. Blood pressure was a little low over that last few days but it’s picking up today.

The hairs are starting to drop again. Will be going for a haircut tomorrow to trim down whatever I have left and at least make it neat. The scab in the right nostril came off and there is a very minor bleed, nothing to be really concerned about. Ulceration is starting in the mouth. Have to be careful when brushing my teeth but a little difficult to achieve. May have to resort to just gargling with mouthwash.

I will be going for a CT scan on 18 Oct to review the progress of the Chemotherapy.

Still, all is well and I am coping. Appetite remains good and slowly but steadily gaining some weight. Just need to pray that my white blood cell and platelets counts will be in the normal range.

In God I Trust.

IS GOD FAIR?

I was asked to contribute a testimony to the December’s issue of church magazine. Initially I thought ok… I can give it a try but now I not sure what I can write. There are various ideas going through my mind but I don’t think they might be appropriately called a testimony.

My first foray in article writing was the article below but it had gone through some changes and I hope it will serve a greater good.  Was told that the idea in the article is not new as there are similar ones that can be found on the Net but in any case, it is still part of my though and I would like to share it.

Here it goes…

At one time or another in our lives, we would have said this or at the least would have heard someone said it before: “It’s not fair, life is not fair!”

I admit to myself that in my own life, life seems unfair at times and we are dealt the occasionally bad hand in the card of life.  In those situations, we often find ourselves turning to God for an answer or run to Him pleading for help.  More often than not, no answer or solution is forthcoming and we are left wondering if God cares for us. Is this fair? Is God really fair?

When I was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer, surprisingly, I did not ask the question “Why me?” It is like I am resigned to that fate but after careful contemplation, I sort of (sort of only, really!) remember this article that I was trying to write and it refreshes my thoughts and attitude towards God, that in all thing I trust in Hm and so had not question the diagnosis.

Throughout the scriptures, situations were recounted where God in His sovereign ways choose to act in ways that is opposite to those expected. Moses did not choose to lead the people out of Egypt, Samson did not ask for superhuman strength and Jonah was dead set against God’s plan for saving Nineveh. Is it fair?... is God fair?

Looking at ourselves, those who live in the “New Testament” era, we often act in ways that opposes God; we sometime neither comprehend nor understand His ways and so questioned Him. I confess that I too questioned God’s intend when I do not seem to get any indication from God when I ask or pray.

My preposition thus is this, “GOD IS NOT FAIR” and He never was fair both in the Old Testament and in New.

I am reminded that it was written “…for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God…” (Romans 3:23) and “For the wages of sin is death…” (Romans 6:23). If this is so, each and everyone are condemned.  We have seen the judgment of God in the Old Testaments and we were told that none of us are righteous, “…There is none righteous, no, not one…” (Romans 3:10).

The supposition then is that we are all condemned for all have sinned and are none righteous. It may be paradoxically to say this but “in all fairness to God”, to His character, we should all be condemned; we have no hope.

Is it fair?... is God fair?

I would say that GOD IS NOT FAIR. If God is fair, all of us would have been judged unrighteous and thus condemned but in His unfairness, he sent Moses to deliver Israel out of Egypt, he used Samson to champion the nation of Israel, Nineveh was saved from doom by an unwilling prophet.  In His ULTIMATE UNFAIRNESS, God sent His son to dies for us, the Father who would willingly sent His own Son to died for those who at no fault of God, sinned. God is not fair for he choose to save us, those who willfully disobeyed Him.

Therefore, I am thankful that God had been unfair and perhaps if we view Him in this manner, we may then realize that when we pray, we don’t get what we want because He is “unfair” as a Father to whom is spoken “If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!” (Matthew 7:11). The operative word here is “good” in the context of Matthew 7:7-11 for our Father is good and desires all that is good for us. We should be aking ourselves whether we had asked for the "right" thing instead asking God to do the "right" thing.

Is it fair that I got Pancreatic Cancer? God has his ways, ways that that I cannot comprehend most of the time and in faith we trust that he has a better plan for us.

Is it fair that Josie and Nathan have to live through this disease with me? But He also provided the means for us to cope and live on.

GOD IS NOT FAIR and that, is very fair to me.

In Him I Trust… regardless.

Post-Chemotherapy Cycle #04 Comment #03

Today started well with my regular routine every Saturday since the start of Chemotherapy by heading to the organic vegetable farm at Lim Chu Kang followed by eggs, fish and regular vegetable wholesales at Chua Chu Kang. It was also an opportunity to bring Nathan out and enjoy a little bit of outdoor. He loves feeding the fishes at the vegetable farm.

Come afternoon, it’s totally a different story…

After lunch, was feeling very tired and sleepy and tried to sleep. Slept for about an hour but got woken up every now and then by the construction happening directly opposite my house. In any case, I had to wake up by 2pm to give myself the booster jab to boost my white cell count.

Thereafter I started moving some furniture in Nathan’s future room to make room for a new cabinet coming in on Wednesday.  For those who are parents, I think you know that feeling, kids really means having to make space for their stuff.

I was feeling really off after that. Tried to sleep but could not and was generally lethargic. Sugar level before dinner was quite high but it was good meals with steam fish, chicken soup, stir fried tou-miao and Taiwanese rice.  You should try the Taiwanese rice. I think they taste better than the Thai Jasmine rice.

Wasn’t feeling any much better after dinner and I suspect that it could be due to a “sugar free” biscuit that I had consumed and got the same nasty feeling the last few time after consuming that same biscuit. Don’t think the biscuit is really “sugar free”.

Still overall, it wasn’t a bad day got some things done and packed Nathan’s future room. Tomorrow will be better with God on my side.

In God I Trust.

Post-Chemotherapy Cycle #04 Comment #02 (Updated with Pics and Video)

This is going to be short post.

Another uneventful day and the nausea was a little stronger today but not too disturbing. Still managed to keep the food down and appetite is good. Sugar level is well managed, not too high.

Had the pump removed at 2pm and went groceries shopping at Square 2’s NTUC before heading home and then a quick hop to the Expo for the John Little sales before rush hours. Just bought a few essentials for the home and John Little and Robinson sales tend to gives good value.

I am still thankful to God for yesterday and this day and In God I Trust.

Just to gross some folks out, pics of the needle in the port inserted into my chest.



My cosy-corner at home

And the boy that always makes me happy.

Post-Chemotherapy Cycle #4 Comment #01

Today was an uneventful day. The Nausea is there but not too bad. Appetite is good and the food stayed down and for the first time I experienced loose stool (not diarrhea) for 3 times within the same day. On previous occasion, it happened only once within the same day.

New scab must have grown over the nose bleed and I did not experience any nose bleed today.

Like all the previous times, the sugar level is high due to the steroid that I am taking. Knowing what to do and how to control the sugar level, this time round, the blood sugar level is not extremely high but it was also because I had modulated it with slightly higher dose of insulin.

Although it is an uneventful day, I considered it a good thing.  I would rather the day be uneventful than having to rush around due to any incidents.

Spend the majority of the time tidying up the files and making backup of the data on my computer.

I will be going to TTSH to remove the pump tomorrow.

Thus I am thankful to God for this day and In God I Trust

Chemotherapy Cycle #4 Comment

The chemotherapy session today was uneventful and went ahead smoothly. Have some good news and some not so good news.

The good news is that based on the lab result, my liver function is back to normal. Praise God.

The not so good news is that platelet count is marginally low at 93.  It was 82 last week.  Therefore the chemotherapy session when ahead at 75% dose compared to the previous session. The red blood cell, haemoglobin and leucocytes count are marginally low. These reading will also need to be monitored and if red blood cell and haemoglobin count drop below desirable level for chemotherapy, I will have take booster jab like those taken illegally by professional cyclist to boost their performance.

The side-effects kicked in near the end of the chemotherapy session.  Not so bad and tahan-able. Slept aboout an hour plus during the therapy session and gained some much needed sleep.

The nose started bleeding again but minor ones, not as bad as one week ago, probably because the scab came off this morning.

Josie was again with me the whole day, her 4^th sister dropped us at the hospital and the youngest brother picked us up in the afternoon and going back on Friday to remove the pump. This time round, Josie had no one to accompany her but she entertained herself with Korean drama on her iPhone (just for info, I am an Android person).

Thankful that the therapy proceeded as planned today as now the CT scan can proceed next week. Also thankful that the liver function test result is now in the normal range.  The remaining readings that are below normal range is expected and so the chemo-drug dosage was modulated to take the readings into consideration.

All is well and in God’s hand and in Him I trust.

Pre-Chemotherapy Cycle #04 (Postponed from 3rd Oct to 10th Oct)

Tomorrow I’ll be going for my fourth round of chemotherapy that was postponed last week. Hopefully the platelet count is back up past the 100×10⁹ per liter level.

Same questions:
Am I worried? Not really.
Am I afraid? Not really.
Am I anxious? Not really.

This time around there is really no fear, just want to proceed and sort of have the “get it over with” feeling now.

I went to TTSH today to see an ENT specialist for my nose bleed. Not much happened since the nose bleed finally stopped three days ago. Had a minor procedure/scoped done to see the inside of the nose.  The left nose came out with a cleaned bill of health; the right nose had a patch where the bleed came from. Gave me some gel to apply in order to moisturise the nose lining and help prevent the bleeding.

Did not have communion in church his week since we had it last week but Josie’s family came and we had our family communion conducted by Josie’s brother who is a pastor in another church. Present were Josie’s eldest, 2^nd and 5th sister, youngest brother and 5^th brother-in-law.

Many verses were given during the session (all scriptures quoted are from the New American Standard Bible (NASB):

1)    Joshua 3:9-17

⁹ Then Joshua said to the sons of Israel, “Come here, and hear the words of the Lord your God.” ¹⁰ Joshua said, “By this you shall know that the living God is among you, and that He will assuredly dispossess from before you the Canaanite, the Hittite, the Hivite, the Perizzite, the Girgashite, the Amorite, and the Jebusite. ¹¹ Behold, the ark of the covenant of the Lord of all the earth is crossing over ahead of you into the Jordan. ¹² Now then, take for yourselves twelve men from the tribes of Israel, one man for each tribe. ¹³ It shall come about when the soles of the feet of the priests who carry the ark of the Lord, the Lord of all the earth, rest in the waters of the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan will be cut off, and the waters which are flowing down from above [b]will stand in one heap.”

¹⁴ So when the people set out from their tents to cross the Jordan with the priests carrying the ark of the covenant before the people, ¹⁵ and when those who carried the ark came into the Jordan, and the feet of the priests carrying the ark were dipped in the edge of the water (for the Jordan overflows all its banks all the days of harvest), ¹⁶ the waters which were flowing down from above stood and rose up in one heap, a great distance away at Adam, the city that is beside Zarethan; and those which were flowing down toward the sea of the Arabah, the Salt Sea, were completely cut off. So the people crossed opposite Jericho. ¹⁷ And the priests who carried the ark of the covenant of the Lord stood firm on dry ground in the middle of the Jordan while all Israel crossed on dry ground, until all the nation had finished crossing the Jordan.

2)   2 Peter 3:8-9

⁸ But do not let this one fact escape your notice, beloved, that with the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years like one day. ⁹ The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.

3)   2 Corinthian 4:13

¹³ But having the same spirit of faith, according to what is written, “I believed, therefore I spoke,” we also believe, therefore we also speak,

4)   2 Corinthian 4:16

¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.

5)   Psalm 105:4-5

⁴   Seek the Lord and His strength;

           Seek His face continually.

⁵   Remember His wonders which He has done,

           His marvels and the judgments uttered by His mouth,

6)   Mark 11:24

²⁴ Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you.

7)   Joel 2:13

¹³  And rend your heart and not your garments.”

           Now return to the Lord your God,

           For He is gracious and compassionate,

           Slow to anger, abounding in lovingkindness

           And relenting of evil.

8)   Romans 8:32

³² He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?

The 1^st and 2^nd passages speaks of time, that healing is a process and this coincide with what my pastor said in one of the communion session.

3^rd to 6^th passages are self-explanatory. We must not lose heart, continue to seek the Lord, believing and professing.

7^th and 8^th passages are affirmation of God’s loving-kindness towards us and that He loved us so much as to sacrifice His son for us and so will He not grant our desire.

My own passage is from Psalm 33:18-22:

¹⁸    Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him,

      On those who hope for His lovingkindness,

¹⁹    To deliver their soul from death

      And to keep them alive in famine.

²⁰    Our soul waits for the Lord;

      He is our help and our shield.

²¹    For our heart rejoices in Him,

      Because we trust in His holy name.

²²    Let Your lovingkindness, O Lord, be upon us,

      According as we have hoped in You.

Again, nothing happens by chance and everything is ordained and purposed by God.  All the passages are interrelated in their meanings and a source of encouragement for me. If I can summarise,

a)      Praise God for His loving-kindness.

b)      Seek him daily, continuously.

c)      Believe in Him, hope in Him.

Above all then, I trust and believed in Him.

Comment Posting

Was told by some that they cannot post comments.

I had removed all restriction except for Comment word verification to prevent spam.

The happenings on Sunday, 7 Oct 2012

As I had said before, having cancer really does change a person’s perspective in life.

Went to church today and was greeted by a lot of people, people who knew about my circumstances and situation. Very thankful to God that he had placed so many people around me who are concerned and are praying.

When I reached church and was at the car park, met a lady from church who said that she has a word from the Lord for me and had wanted to tell me about it but wasn’t sure if I’ll be in church today. And… I was there! She said that she was impressed by the Lord to tell me to read the Gospels, not sure which one but the impression was to first read Gospel of John.

During worship, various songs were sung but the one that stood out for me was ‘Hosanna’ by Paul Baloche & Brenton Brown. The pre-chorus goes like this:

Pre-Chorus:

'Cause when we see You,

We find strength to face the day

In Your Presence all our fears are washed away,

Washed away.

© 2006 Integrity's Hosanna! Music and Thankyou Music

I had highlighted the portion that held significant for me as indeed the Lord gave me strength to face the day and in His presence all my fears are washed away.

I had mentioned it in one of my earlier blog that there was no fear of the chemotherapy for God had granted me the grace and strength to go through it.

I was passing by The Central at Clark Quay about a week ago and saw a Chilis restaurant there. We had a wonderful experience when the family went to the Chilis at Tanglin Mall a couple of weeks ago and so decided to try the Chilis at The Central. Felt well enough back then to have a family outing but the main purpose was to go to Market Place at Tanglin Mall to buy Flaxseed oil that I could not find in NTUC. Subsequently found out that it was also available at Cold Storage.

Went to The Central early so that we can reserve a table and then go shopping (eh… to entertain Josie and Nathan…). When we reached the restaurant, found out that they are officially opened only on 10 Oct. I was initially disappointed but bumped into this guy who apologises about the restaurant opening and I explained that I drove by and saw the restaurant and had purposely came to have a meal there with the family. Guess what? It so happened that this guy is the restaurant manager and he informed us that today was their trial day for the restaurant and guests were invited to try the food and comment about the restaurant and since we had purposely came to restaurant, we were then “invited” to the restaurant trial. What it means basically was that we had our dinner for free except for the alcoholic beverages that Josie and my mom ordered since we pia-seh that we ate for free. We had to give feedback though and I was quite honest with my feedback and the restaurant manager was quite appreciative of it.

The nose bleed finally stopped!!!

The not so good things about today was that there was a minor altercation at home about some arrangement in the kitchen, not going to say too much as there is a Chinese saying that says, “the ugly things of the house should not be spread outside the house” and I think this saying also have significant in Christian living for we must learn to tolerate and forgive one another within the house for from the Father, every family in heaven and on earth derives its name.

For as stated in Ephesians 3:14-19:

14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, 16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.

Since generally I feel well, I need to be reminded constantly of God's grace and mercy lest I stray away from Him. There is already that temptation.  Perhaps that's the reason for the reminder to read the Gospel. Of course the remaining verses from Ephesians 3:14-19 held such significant for me as this passage contained uplifting words and that it also formed the lasting word that I had for Nathan and I trust God to grant to me as well what is spoken of in verse 16 to 19.

And thus In God I Trust

By the way, Alonso (Ferrari) crashed out on Lap 1 of the Suzuka Japanese Gran Prix… so sad. But Massa came in second… it’s a consolation. I support Alonso, not Ferrari. I had stopped supporting Ferrari ever since Michael Schumacher drove for Ferrari and if you are wondering, yes, F1 is my favorite sport. All time favorite drivers (living ones) are Mika Häkkinen, Fernando Alonso and Kimi Räikkönen in that order. Had the opportunity to work for the Singapore F1 GP in 2009 as Gate Manager and all thanks to another lady in church.