Tomorrow I’ll be going for my fourth round of chemotherapy.
Am I worried? Not really.
Am I afraid? Not really.
Am I anxious? Not really.
I don’t want to make it as if I am pompous over the matter but it is true that I don’t feel them that much but I said “not really” because I trust in God that He will take care of me, therefore, I need not really be worried, afraid or anxious. BUT there is still that certain amount of hesitation because the side-effects are not pleasant. Matter not though because Josie is going to be by my side through the therapy.
Had communion again today organize by the church and really have to thank Vicar and Counselor for agreeing and arranging it for me, the family and cell group. Very hearten by the presence of members of the family and cell-group.
Pastor shared from Psalm 131 (NASB):
1O Lord, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes haughty;
Nor do I involve myself in great matters,
Or in things too difficult for me.
Nor do I involve myself in great matters,
Or in things too difficult for me.
2 Surely I have composed and quieted my soul;
Like a weaned child rests against his mother,
My soul is like a weaned child within me.
Like a weaned child rests against his mother,
My soul is like a weaned child within me.
3 O Israel, hope in the Lord
From this time forth and forever.
From this time forth and forever.
Pastor spoke about how we sometime over exaggerate things. That often we do not need to dwell too deep into a particular matter and that often the answers are simply “simple”.
When our heart is proud and our eyes haughty, that is when we lose sight of God. When we are involve in great matters or in things too difficult for us we get frustrated and again lose sight of God. It is in these moments when we lose sight of God that we need to surrender to God, to Jesus, for the things that we cannot control. We need to be composed and our souls quieten, like a weaned child resting against his mother, our soul needs to be like a weaned child within us.
Simplicity is a key. We may think that God is complex but He is not. He is simply our Father who art in heaven, the ever present help in times of needs. He is Jesus our Saviour who died for us, forgave and cleanse oir sins. He is the Holy Spirit that dwelled in us, teaching us all things about Him.
We don’t have to over analyse Him. Sometime we pray and trusting in God and God grant our request and supplication, sometime we pray and we ask and it does not happen but yet we must trust. The key is trusting in God, once you know Him, you will intrinsically trust Him. Hope in the Lord this time forth and forever.
We sang the following song and it really speak to me of having to really become like a child, where I know because the bible said so and thus I believe and thus I trust in God. Bruce Lee may say “be like water” but I say be like a child, be innocent.
I see Nathan everyday and I can see that childlike innocent, that unconditional trust that he has for his mommy and papa.
JESUS LOVES ME, THIS I KNOW
Anna Barlett Warner and William Bradbury
Verse 1:
Jesus loves me this I know
For the bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak but He is strong
Chorus:
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
The Bible tells me so
Verse 2:
Jesus loves me He who died
Heaven’s gate to open wide
He will wash away my sin
Let the little child come in
Verse 3:
Jesus loves me He will stay
Close beside me all the way
If I love Him, when I die
He will take me home on high
The bible does tell me so and so I trust in God
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