Tuesday, 9 October 2012

Pre-Chemotherapy Cycle #04 (Postponed from 3rd Oct to 10th Oct)

Tomorrow I’ll be going for my fourth round of chemotherapy that was postponed last week. Hopefully the platelet count is back up past the 100×109 per liter level.

Same questions:
Am I worried? Not really.
Am I afraid? Not really.
Am I anxious? Not really.

This time around there is really no fear, just want to proceed and sort of have the “get it over with” feeling now.

I went to TTSH today to see an ENT specialist for my nose bleed. Not much happened since the nose bleed finally stopped three days ago. Had a minor procedure/scoped done to see the inside of the nose.  The left nose came out with a cleaned bill of health; the right nose had a patch where the bleed came from. Gave me some gel to apply in order to moisturise the nose lining and help prevent the bleeding.

Did not have communion in church his week since we had it last week but Josie’s family came and we had our family communion conducted by Josie’s brother who is a pastor in another church. Present were Josie’s eldest, 2nd and 5th sister, youngest brother and 5th brother-in-law.

Many verses were given during the session (all scriptures quoted are from the New American Standard Bible (NASB):

1)    Joshua 3:9-17
9 Then Joshua said to the sons of Israel, “Come here, and hear the words of the Lord your God.” 10 Joshua said, “By this you shall know that the living God is among you, and that He will assuredly dispossess from before you the Canaanite, the Hittite, the Hivite, the Perizzite, the Girgashite, the Amorite, and the Jebusite. 11 Behold, the ark of the covenant of the Lord of all the earth is crossing over ahead of you into the Jordan. 12 Now then, take for yourselves twelve men from the tribes of Israel, one man for each tribe. 13 It shall come about when the soles of the feet of the priests who carry the ark of the Lord, the Lord of all the earth, rest in the waters of the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan will be cut off, and the waters which are flowing down from above [b]will stand in one heap.”

14 So when the people set out from their tents to cross the Jordan with the priests carrying the ark of the covenant before the people, 15 and when those who carried the ark came into the Jordan, and the feet of the priests carrying the ark were dipped in the edge of the water (for the Jordan overflows all its banks all the days of harvest), 16 the waters which were flowing down from above stood and rose up in one heap, a great distance away at Adam, the city that is beside Zarethan; and those which were flowing down toward the sea of the Arabah, the Salt Sea, were completely cut off. So the people crossed opposite Jericho. 17 And the priests who carried the ark of the covenant of the Lord stood firm on dry ground in the middle of the Jordan while all Israel crossed on dry ground, until all the nation had finished crossing the Jordan.

2)   2 Peter 3:8-9
8 But do not let this one fact escape your notice, beloved, that with the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years like one day. 9 The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.

3)   2 Corinthian 4:13
13 But having the same spirit of faith, according to what is written, “I believed, therefore I spoke,” we also believe, therefore we also speak,

4)   2 Corinthian 4:16
16 Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.

5)   Psalm 105:4-5
4   Seek the Lord and His strength;
           Seek His face continually.
5   Remember His wonders which He has done,
           His marvels and the judgments uttered by His mouth,

6)   Mark 11:24
24 Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you.

7)   Joel 2:13
13  And rend your heart and not your garments.”
           Now return to the Lord your God,
           For He is gracious and compassionate,
           Slow to anger, abounding in lovingkindness
           And relenting of evil.

8)   Romans 8:32
32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?

The 1st and 2nd passages speaks of time, that healing is a process and this coincide with what my pastor said in one of the communion session.

3rd to 6th passages are self-explanatory. We must not lose heart, continue to seek the Lord, believing and professing.

7th and 8th passages are affirmation of God’s loving-kindness towards us and that He loved us so much as to sacrifice His son for us and so will He not grant our desire.

My own passage is from Psalm 33:18-22:
18    Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him,
      On those who hope for His lovingkindness,
19    To deliver their soul from death
      And to keep them alive in famine.
20    Our soul waits for the Lord;
      He is our help and our shield.
21    For our heart rejoices in Him,
      Because we trust in His holy name.
22    Let Your lovingkindness, O Lord, be upon us,
      According as we have hoped in You.

Again, nothing happens by chance and everything is ordained and purposed by God.  All the passages are interrelated in their meanings and a source of encouragement for me. If I can summarise,
a)      Praise God for His loving-kindness.
b)      Seek him daily, continuously.
c)      Believe in Him, hope in Him.

Above all then, I trust and believed in Him.

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