In my post “Journey in Faith” posted on 28 April, I spoke about faith, hope and the promise of the things to come. I sort of remembered a while back, I had posted in “Pain in the Heart” on 12 March that there was this thing Josie mentioned about the testimony and faith and that I told myself I should write about it.
Having re-read the post “Journey in Faith”, I thought the title for the post was quite accurate because this journey of mine is not just about the battle with this cancer that I wage against on a daily basis but it is also about a journey, a journey of faith that I would say I constantly learn new things about although not on quite a daily basis but I would say often enough.
The journey is not an easy one despite what I may have written about in this blog filled often with positive news and development. When I posted “Pain in the Journey” on 10 March, one of Josie’s good friend texted me to encouraged me and one of the things she said that this was one of the darkest post I’d made. Often isn’t it true that the physical pain is not the one that will literally bring us down but it is the emotional turmoil and pain that could destroy us completely and totally. I therefore say that it is an understatement to say that God will “carry us”, He will “see us through”, “pray to Him”, etc etc… Not unless you are truly willing to give all to Him. I may profess my faith but I am a long way from absolute, total and complete surrender to Him as can be seen from my occasional anger and my report for disharmony and such. Thus I say the development of faith is a journey and it never really ends; that despite whatever pain (physical and emotional), emotional turmoil, hurts, uncertainty and fear, we really need to seek Him, to depend on Him and look towards Him for the resolution of what we cannot resolve. It is at these times that He is strong as we are weak.
Back to what Josie mentioned concerning the faith and testimony. At the point we were talking and I was talking about my perspective on “Faith” and she spoke about my “testimony” and when you add them up, it could be that my testimony in this whole journey is about faith in God. You might ask what has the earlier paragraph to do with faith and testimony of faith. In my case, it has practically everything to do with it. What is there for me to depend on at this point other than God? I know that there are medical sciences but medical science do not have an answer for all the ailments in this world. There is no definitive cure for my type of cancer especially one that is non-resectable. Who else can I depend on when I am emotionally down? I know that Josie and friends are supporting me but there is just so much that they can do physically and practically but they cannot take away what is embedded in the head, in the heart, only God can.
In short, if you had read my blog, you will know that it is a record of my journey but it is more than that, it is also about my journey in faith and my testimony to God’s goodness and faith in Him. I pray that what I had written would be a legacy, a testimony about faith and that it will lead others to a stronger faith in God, a greater trust in Him and formation of the foundation of our hope.
In God We Trust and in Christ alone my hope is found.
Hebrews 11:1
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