From God

On Thursday, I had breakfast with Josie that for now will be known as “an undisclosed location” and ate an item that I should avoid at that particular moment (not cannot consume but should just avoid given a choice) and consumed an amount that is more than I should.

Breakfast with Josie alone is a rarity nowadays after Nathan came to realize that “Hey, if I cry, make noise, call “mommy” and hold unto her, I can get all I want…” What a blackmail!…

We started talking and it started out as just any other general conversation and I asked her about the situation in her office and the things that she need to do considering that she had to go back to the office to settle several very important matters despite having the flu. The conversation slowing evolved and I don’t quite remember how it evolved but I (not we) end up talking about God allowing things to happen and the gist of my point was that everything are “From God”.

There is the school of thoughts concerning the “permissible will of God” and the “sovereign will of God” and there are those that say that disasters and calamities are not from God. For myself, I questioned why I had cancer? Did it come from God or did God allowed it or it did not originate from God at all? Is it from the devil, is it because I had sin and is it because of the sins of my forefathers? I am not attempting to answer all these questions for it is beyond me to comprehend all these complex intertwining ideologies, theories, doctrines, dogma, believes and most importantly, the mind and will of God. So then, why am I posing all these questions?

I believe in the sovereign God, His sovereign will, His omnipotence, omniscient and omnipresence. How I got the cancer, whether willed or permitted does not matter to me and it is from this perspective that I say all things comes “From God”, even my cancer.

Now hear me out.

If you believe that God is sovereign and is omnipotence, omniscient and omnipresence, then all things happened because He had willed it. You might argue that “No, He permitted it but did not willed it” but then if he permitted it, does it not also implies that it is within His will and thus it is permitted. You might also argue that “No, the devil had done it and not God” but can the devil act without God knowing and if God knew and allowed or permitted it, does it not imply that it is within His will?

I used to believed in the “permissible” will of God but there is really no “permissible” will, there is only one will, the sovereign will and therefore, if God is One and Sovereign and I thus cannot fathom nor “bend” His will anymore than I am able to block out the rays of light from the sun from reaching earth.

Can a king be a king and be sovereign if things happened around him that he has no control over?  Therefore, can God be God and be sovereign if things happened without His consent or if we are able to bend His “Sovereign” will? I believe it is oxymoronic to think that we are able to bend the “Sovereign” will of God and make it “Permissible”.

I have cancer and I have it because God allowed it, permitted it, willed it and bah… as I said, it does not matter to me. What matter is that He knew and has a purpose for everything that happened and what His will is in my case I do not know but does not everything that happened, happened for a purpose? I pray and ask that His name be glorified. If I am healed, His Name be glorified. If through my blog, you develop an undoubting faith in God, His Name be glorified. If you think my blog is junk, His Name be glorified. If I should perish, I perish knowing that He had given me an extra measure of time on this earth for without treatment (Chemotherapy), I should be dead or dying by now and so His Name be glorified.

I may or will offend certain people by saying that I still will not profess healing but that I will continue to profess God’s sovereignty because if He had allowed the cancer to happened in my life, He then has a plan for it be it healing or otherwise as we all prayed “Our Father in heaven… Your will be done, on earth as in heaven…” There is no “permissible” in this prayer, there is only “sovereign”.

Why do we wish to subjugate God’s will to ours? We should subjugate our will to His and thus pray for the revelation of His will and to understand His will and thus pray according to His will. For me, I can only continue to pray for revelation because I still do not know His will with regards to my cancer but I know He will let me know when the time and circumstances is right or ripe.

In Him We Trust.