Trusting God and Letting Go

Before I carry on and if you have been following my blog and supporting me in prayer, Josie, Nathan and me thank you.

I had updated my post “Thanksgiving for 2012 and looking forward to 2013” with some amendments and additional thoughts and reflections. This blog entry is a follow-up on the “Thanksgiving for 2012 and looking forward to 2013 (Updated)” post.

This blog entry is primary a reflection of my trust in God.  In most of my blog entries that speaks about trusting and believing in God, you would know where my stand is, that there is no looking back as far as believing in God is concerned and that there is no doubts with regards to trusting Him. However, in the last 2 days, I am questioning my trust but before you think that I am beginning to “distrust” God, no, that’s not it. The problem I have is in “letting go”.

On New Year’s Eve, I had written an email to one of the church staff and without going into the details of the mail, I had ended the mail by saying that I am leaving the matter (about what I had wrote to this church staff member) to God and will not actively pursue the matter further. However, over the last 3 days, I was quietly hoping for a response and will check my mails to see if there is one.  It is this morning, while sending Josie to work and while talking to her in the car and about my last post that I started realized that I had not really let go, despite me saying so. It was kind of like been struck by lightning (not that I ever got struck by one and so I do not know what the feeling is like) and I held myself back a little and contemplated this “revelation”. Have I really trusted in God and if I had, then why is it so hard to let go of something that I had said I will place at feet of God?

I can’t put my finger to it but I believe it is because of our human frailty, emotional weakness and need for affirmation that we sought to get that affirmation or positive response from others. Some needs it more and some needs less and I probably belong to the “more” category. For me, it is to get that “reply” that I said I am not expecting. Such a shame that having written so many posts and having said that I trusted in God that this “revelation” finally came. All is not lost though because as the title of this blog site says it, that it is
“My Journey” and this revelation is part of the journey of discovery and understanding.

I have to let go and let God. I can pray about it but I have to trust God to do what is in His will and to experience Him as such, in total and unrestrained trust.

Ending this blog entry in the same way as the last post by repeating that all these also mean a whole new level of trust and this is what I am looking forward to in 2013. When I am weak, He is strong and His grace is sufficient for me and I will also add that to be happy in Jesus, it is to trust and obey and from this day forward, I declare that as a family, Josie, Nathan and me will trust in God.

In God We Trust.