What’s Next?

Psalm 23 (NASB)

1   The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

2   He makes me lie down in green pastures;

     He leads me beside quiet waters.

3   He restores my soul;

     He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.

4   Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

     I fear no evil, for You are with me;

     Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

5   You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

     You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows.

6   Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,

     And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Truth be told, I do feel miserable currently but that do not translate into misery in my life and Psalm 23 still holds much truth for me despite the circumstances that I am going through.

I keep talking about my pains and discomforts and they were really a constant in my life for the last 2 weeks. Last night was quite bad and I hardly slept for about 3 hours intermittently despite the morphine. So what is next?

I won’t deny that in the last 2 weeks I have not thought too much about God as most waking moments had been locked up in trying to tolerate and finding means of easing the pain and discomfort. It thus makes me thinks about what happened to my belief and my effort to try and live a life where God is ever present and that He should not be far from my thoughts at all times. I admit that I was trying to fight this pain and discomfort on my own strength and also trying to see how far I could go on before I say “I give up, I surrender!”. Well… I am at that point now where there is really no one else I can really depend on except God.

God had been gracious and I know he will continue to be gracious despite my temporary loss of common sense and tried to depend on my own strength. How do I know that He is with me? Despite Nathan and Josie coming down ill a few times in that last few weeks, I was spared that illness that would have complicated my medical conditions. My last medical review was positive, Josie is holding up well and I know God was with her and strengthening her. Nathan saw a General Medicine Consultant today at KKH and we were told that his frequent illnesses were not unexpected since he started childcare and that he is holding up quite well actually. Nathan is also starting to “understand” things more and we are thankful that he slightly less (only slightly but better than no improvement) sticky and demanding and personally for me, that he will occasionally sit with me when mommy is busy. Ah… such heartwarming occasions.

In God We Trust and in Christ alone my hope is found.

Hebrews 11:1

What Else?

Once again I know I had not posted for a few days and some of you might be wondering what is happening to me? I had consciously not posted anything because I do not wish my post to be just about the pain and the discomfort. It would either be the pain is here and then there, how it is giving me sleepless night or the discomfort is making me less willing to move about as every step that I take focuses somehow onto the bloated feeling in the stomach. I am also not quite up to writing as most of my time was spent lying or sitting down or sleeping.

I still have to put in some update but what else can I write?

For those hoping for something a little different and perhaps uplifting, I have to disappoint you for a little longer.

The new medication is helping but only to a certain extend as the pain still comes and go but at lesser intensity. Occasionally, there will be a sharp pain that runs through from my right side near the stomach to the middle of the chest on the right. I’m still talking the morphine but I had reduced the amount I took as the pain is less intense. Since what I am having is Radiation Gastritis, I’m assuming that the vomiting is part of it too. In the last one week, I had vomited three times from bloated-ness but I believe this is not because of the duodenum obstruction like the last time but simply because of the direct effect of having Gastritis. I really got to watch the quantum, the frequency and the texture (not too hard) of the food that I eat. In the meanwhile, I will having to depend a little more on the Glucerna supplement for my nutrient intake.

Josie is coping as best as she could and emotionally she is far stronger now than she was when this journey started. I believe God’s gift of Nathan had helped in this development as she has sort of a “distraction” and also a reason to remain strong. I wonder how she would have coped if all her attentions and focus is just on me alone and seeing what I am going through especially during this period when I’m having this Gastritis.

As a kind of record, I had asked Josie to take pictures of me while I sleep, sit of simply lying down and the various postures that I adopt just to ease the pain and discomfort. I kind of joked that I could be a yoga teacher because some of the posture I had adopted would showcase my flexibility.

In God We Trust and in Christ alone my hope is found.

Hebrews 11:1

Cancer Warriors

Recently, there was a programme on Channel News Asia (CNA) that talks about Cancer Warriors and more specifically, cancer survivors. I happened to catch the show and somehow I got turned off.

There is nothing intrinsically wrong with the programme although it is indirectly an advertisement promoting Parkway Cancer Centre. The resilient of the survivors are to be commented as the treatment process is not something to be taken lightly as I very well know. I also know of a couple of cancer survivors within my workplace and in church and there was a person whom I do not know who wrote to me and who is also a cancer survivor.

So why I am I so worked out about it?

The stories of the cancer survivors a.k.a. cancer warriors in this case are probably far more palatable and are also more viable commercially. Everyone wants to hear the good stuff, the positive angles; who wants to hear about failure, about death, about defeat and the odds against surviving cancer?

If CNA had entitled the programme something like “Cancer Survivor” perhaps it would have been more acceptable to me personally but for the programme to be entitled “Cancer Warrior” and the focus is on the 2 ladies that survived does a great disservice to those who had cancer but fought on just as hard as the survivors, endured the pain, endured the sadness the family faces as they see the “warrior’s” bodies wasting away from the cancer even as they valiantly battle the dreaded disease. You might say that it is my ego speaking and in my case yes I admit it because why is “my story” who is currently fighting the disease or the stories of other warriors who lost the battle not featured?

In every battle, there is always a story worth telling except perhaps for those that had given up and was defeated from the onset. When I was last warded in TTSH, there was an elderly gentleman who had been coughing for about 2 months and was in and out of the hospital several times but the doctors were not able to determined what was wrong until his latest admission where the tests found cancer in is chest. I had a chit chat with him to try and encourage him as he moves on towards chemotherapy and there was one thing that he said that touches me. He told me that there were once his grandchildren who were fairly young who went up to him and told him that he must get well and that they will wait for him to come home. At that point he cried and told me how can he not endure the condition that he has or endure the therapy that he will be going through. He has a story and for the sake of his grandchildren he will battle on and he is a cancer warrior.

For the survivors, kudos to you and your battles and I personally know some of you. I say kudos too to those who fought just as hard but had lost the battle and I know some of these people too. Their lost did not make them any lesser as warriors but their stories is every bit as poignant as the survivors.

In God We Trust and in Christ alone my hope is found.

Hebrews 11:1

My Topsy-Turvy Days

You have read about me talking about my physical pain and before that concerning my motion and stools… It really has been a topsy-turvy 2 weeks in my life.

Yesterday was a bad day and that led to my blog post about my physical “Pain In The Journey”. Yesterday, I had slept for practically the entire day. After breakfast I slept, after lunch I slept again and all the while the sleep was fitful due to the pain and the discomfort.

Today was another story. Although I did not really have a very good night sleep, again due to the pain and discomfort, I was generally alright for the day. Attended the wedding lunch banquet of the worship pastor (I guess I can call him that) who is also one of the worship leader in church. As with any wedding banquet, there were plenty of food and I was happily enjoying them and consuming quite a lot of it without any undue discomfort.  You can say that it was thus a good day for me. Although I was not really in a positive mood or position to attend the couple’s wedding solemnisation yesterday, I was none the less very happy for them and in fact, when I first knew that they were a couple, I was already genuinely very happy for them. They are such a lovely couple.

For some reason, the pain is more obvious at night and I am now feeling the discomfort again and the pain.  On Tuesday, I have a medical appointment with my diabetes Consultant and hopefully he can have some advises or make some prescriptions that can help me until I can see my Med-Oncologist on 13 May. By the way, the stool is getting very light in colour and is not really a good sign.

I guess the topsy-turvy part is not just on a day to day basis but within the day as well but to be able to enjoy the banquet today and see church friends and receive encouraging words really make my day too and thank I God for it.

In God We Trust and in Christ alone my hope is found.

Hebrews 11:1

Radiotherapy: Update #06

Today’s radiotherapy session was a regular one and unlike yesterday’s there was no luck in having arrived early. The patient before me was on time and I had to wait my turn. Anyway, I was in and out of the Radiotherapy Centre in 45 minutes. Arrived at 8:20am and left at 9:05am.

Today was a busy day. Had to go to Roche’s office at Tiong Bahru to exchange my gluco-meter because it was faulty and fortunately it was under warranty. They made a replacement and the new meter has a 5 year warranty on it. Don’t think that it is a good thing, Roche make most of their money from the consumables, essentially the Accu-stik (the test strip). Giving 5-years warranty ensures a captive market for their consumables.

Came home and rested a little and went to for my appointment with my surgeon at TTSH at 12:20pm. Hung around after that to arrange for an appointment with the Gastroenterologist that is in June (yup! real long time away), re-confirm my appointment for my by General Medicine Consultant who is taking care of my hypertension and hyper-cholesterol that is sort of in remission and for my diabetes. Tried to arrange for an early appointment with my Oncologist but was not able to do so but the assistant will check with him and see if I can get an earlier appointment. In any case, I will be calling the Chemotherapy Clinic at the end of next week as per my Oncologist suggestion to arrange for a blood and see if I can go in early for chemotherapy assuming that my liver had recovered sufficiently.

When I saw my surgeon, not much that he can do as I am still undergoing chemo and radio-therapy. So the appointment today was just a regular follow-up but because my surgeon specialises in Hepato-pancreaticobiliary Surgery, I asked him about my frequent motions and the oily faeces and the expression on his face plus the comments that he made tells me he knows what’s going on. Essentially, my pancreas is not releasing sufficient digestive enzymes that help to digest the fats in my food and because of the “grease” in my food, it “lubricates” the food and it gets passed through the intestine faster. It also explained why I am not gaining weight as the food was not sufficiently digested and the nutrient absorbed. I was prescribed “Creon” which is a digestive enzymes replacement. I will know how well the medication works in 1 to 2 days’ time.

Sort of a fruitful day and at least I know the reason for my frequent motion. If I did not have this appointment today, I would be continuing to suffer from the frequent motions for a few more weeks before my appointment with my Oncologist. God is good.

In God We Trust

Hebrews 11:1

Give Them All To Jesus

I was just sorting the music in my collection and I came across this very old song

It was originally sung by the artist Evie that I doubt those who were born after the 80s would know about.  Have a listen at the following link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwGRDLY_A24

I guess at this point in my life and considering the rat race that we all go through, the lyrics is so meaningful.

GIVE THEM ALL TO JESUS

Words and Music by Bob Benson, Sr. and Phil Johnson

© 1975 BMG Songs, Inc. (Admin. by Universal Music Publishing MGB Australia Pty Limited)

Verse 1

Are you tired of chasing pretty rainbows?

Are you tired of spinning round and round?

Wrap up all the shattered dreams of your life,

And at the feet of Jesus lay them down.

Chorus

Give them all, give them all,

Give them all to Jesus;

Shattered dreams,

Wounded hearts and broken toys.

Give them all, give them all,

Give them all to Jesus;

And He will turn your sorrow into joy!

Verse 2

He never said you'd only see sunshine.

He never said there'd be no rain.

He only promised a heart full of singing.

About the very things that once brought pain.

In God We Trust

Hebrews 11:1

SARS

If you read the papers, Singapore is commemorating the 10^th Anniversary of SARS (Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome) occurrence here. This brought back some memories of my time in TTSH as a staff in 2003. I was then under the employ of TTSH as an Operation Manager (Clinical Ops, Outpatient Services) in the Department of Infectious Diseases. Yes, I was right smack in the middle of it all.

One of my responsibilities was management of the Travelers’ Health and Vaccination Clinic in TTSH, the largest vaccination clinic in Singapore by volume. I still remember at that time there was the bird flu situation in China and so we at the clinic monitors the news feed closely for development of the situation in China closely as one of the services provided by the clinic was travel advice for people coming for vaccination.

During that time, we encounter all sorts of people who come to clinic for vaccination and advice. Prior to WHO declaring the SARS pandemic, I still remember families who came to the clinic asking about vaccinations for bird flu or what we know about the “new” flu as they had booked and paid for holidays to China. It was difficult managing these groups of people because there was really scant information available at that time and how do you then provide “proper” advice.

When SARS as “SARS” was announced and TTSH became the designated SARS hospital and we went into a kind of lock-down mode, I was assigned to CDC (Communicable Disease Centre) to provide operational support and there I stayed for 8 weeks. It was take the train to work in the morning and take the train home in the evening. Outside of work, there were zero social activities, no church and no unnecessary interactions. It was alright because it is a small sacrifice to keep Singapore safe. The only “bad” experience that came out of it was that I did not get to interact with my god-daughter who was very young at that time and by the time the self-quarantine was over and when I saw my god-daughter again, she refused to let me carry her. It was a sad moment but not anymore as she had grown up and still acknowledges this “god-pa”.

The nastiest experience during the 8 weeks was when an American girl was sent to CDC for quarantine and observation because she had developed a fever. She was sent to CDC accompanied by her parents. The girl was terrified as she had never been hospitalised and will be “isolated”. The father kept asking when they will know if their daughter will be alright and when they will get the call with information about their daughter’s condition to which the nurses replied that they will call the family as soon as they have information. This was obviously not sufficient for the father and he ranted that his daughter has not been away from them alone before and that he works for a big American firm (while pointing a finger at my face) and I was specifically threaten with lawsuit from his firm’s lawyer if anything untoward happened to his daughter. Here we are fighting a pandemic and the doctors, nurses, support staff and myself are putting our life on the line and I get threaten with a lawsuit! Such is the indulgence on individual rights over community rights and anyway, I would not know who the dude is going to sue if he does sue especially since he did not ask for my name but I was wearing my name tag and I was wearing a mask that might make recognition an issue.

I am proud of my contribution to TTSH and Singapore no matter how small that contribution might be. My name was not listed in the commemorative book published by TTSH the year after as I had left the employ of TTSH and so did my immediate operational boss and so there was no verifiable source of my participation in the SARS epidemic. If there is any consolation, in the book, there was a picture of me with CDC’s nurse manager and senior nurses during one of the morning’s briefing.

Here’s to all the Healthcare workers in Singapore, generally an underappreciated group of people.

Best Places to Buy…

This is just a fun post for me and I would just like to say that having been sort of a stay home dad and husband means that I do the groceries and marketing for the household and the following are what I found out.

Happy reading and in God we Trust.

Unless you are going for prime cut of beef, buying beef at the wet market is a lot cheaper than at the supermarkets but if you go for the pre-packed beef at the supermarket, the price could be around the same than the wet markets but at the wet market, you can ask the butcher for specific portion of the beef.

Whole chicken regardless whether it is the white or black chicken is cheaper at the wet market and the “freshness” is not worse at the wet market.  We buy our chicken at a vegetable farm at Chua Chu Kang (CCK). The price for the black chicken is 25 to 50 cents cheaper and the white chicken is 50 cents to a dollar cheaper than Fairprice and usually “fresh” as in slaughtered either on the same day or the day before.

I get most of my fishes at CCK as well. There is a live seafood whole-seller situated at CCK’s Farm Mart. They do chilled and live seafood. I buy my Red Garoupa (Coral Trout) and Soon Hock (Marbled Goby) from them but they are dead ones, not the live ones and they are usually taken out of the tank the same day or the day before and if you are lucky, you may get one of the dying (nor quite dead yet) ones. If you think “Hey, they are dead fishes, no difference from wet market”, well, those at the wet market could be dead for up to a week as they get shipped to Singapore frozen or chilled. Anyway, my mom buys most of the other fishes and usually from wet markets at Kreta Ayer (Chinatown), Boon Keng or Kandang Kerbau (KK).

I have given up buying “fresh” oranges at Fairprice as they are not really fresh especially since I had come across oranges that had mold from the carton boxes stuck on them or the oranges are plain moldy or rotten and are still placed on the shelves. I got picture proof and so Fairprice cannot claim that I am accusing them wrongly especially after 6 feedbacks since November 2012. I buy my oranges nowadays from my neighborhood fruits stall.

A 2L tub of Meiji fresh milk is cheaper at Ang Mo Supermarket than Fairprice and Giant sometime by as much as a dollar.

Infant/child milk powder is also cheapest at Ang Mo Supermarket but up to $2 per tin depending on which brand and size of the tin you buy.

The small tubs of Emmi yogurt are cheaper at Fairprice but only when they offer it at 3 for $2.80 (I think it is $2.80).

Kraft cheeses are not the only cheeses available, other brands especially those from Australian are just as good and tasty and cheaper unless the Kraft cheeses are on offer. Check the expiry date though.

Vegetable is always cheaper and fresher at the farms and so the once a week trip to CCK and Lim Chu Kang for local and organic vegetable.

Australian Calrose rice is just as good and as nice at Thai Jasmine rice. My mother is very particular about rice and used to buy the most expensive Thai Royal Umbrella brand jasmine rice. After introducing her to Australian Calrose rice, she is now a covert. The cheapest but not necessary the worse quality Australian Calrose rice is from Seng Siong that goes for S$11 to $12 for a 5kg bag but the same rice at Giant is $13+.

Unless you are a pasta Connoisseur, locally produced pasta taste just as good but maybe the texture is a little softer but is more forgiving when it comes to cooking. Prices in most Supermarkets are similar.

If you have the time and the transportation, all DIY stuff can be found around Jalan Berseh. Definitely cheaper by a lot than Home-Fix but Home-Fix is convenient.

Mineral waters are mineral water and unless you are inclined towards the gourmet water like Evian or Perrier, locally and Malaysian produced bottled mineral water are just as good. I still have this thing about buying “Home” brand and so I stuck with Ice Mountain that is cheapest at Fairprice, 2 x 2L bottles for $1.20.

Home brands are cheap but not necessary good. I had brought some Home brand nuts before and let’s just say that nowadays I will buy Nature Garden, Tong’s Garden or Camel branded nuts. The only Home brand that I go for still are Fairprice’s soft-pack tissue paper and I stock them and wait until they are on offer before buying more.

Unless you view your bottom as extremely precious and you like toilet papers with tiny blue seashells or dolphin embossed on them, buy the “Compact” brand toilet paper. They are the most value for money (not cheapest) bottom wipes out there.

For plastic containers of various shapes, sizes and uses, the best place is at Toyogo Warehouse situated along Toa Payoh Lorong 8 industrial estate.

Fairprice Unity Healthcare probably has the most value for money pharmaceutical and supplements. I used to get generic Panadol there at $2 for 20 strips. Head down to Guardian or Watson and compare the price yourself.

That’s about enough tips for now.

Email to send general comments

Dear Friends,

I was told that some of you still have problem posting comments and some would prefer to not to post “public” comment but sent mail to me.

I have set up an email account for such purposes. If you wish to email me, kindly send the mail to: davidyuejourney@gmail.com

Cheers and Many Blessings

David Yue

In God We Trust

Post-Chemotherapy Cycle #04 Comment #05

For those how are following the blog, apology is there were no posting over the last 2 days. From morale standpoint, a little disappointed that the blog following is petering off with lesser people reading the blog but no worries, sufficient is the knowledge that those who are concerned are still following the blog and I thank God and these folks.

I was at TTSH today to have a CT scan done to determine the progress of the therapy. I have to say that beyond what we know, believed and prayed and accept by faith, the chemotherapy is in the word of the oncologist “palliative” but God and can do far better. The next appointment with the Oncologist is on Wednesday, 24 October.  The CT report will be made known then.  As usual, Josie was by my side.

Have been feeling well this few days and the only drawbacks are the ulcers in the mouth, lots of wing, and still slight lethargy.

Believed God is doing a marvelous job in my life as most people I met say that I look well despite the chemotherapy. Of course they don’t know feelings from the looks but I am still thankful that I can engage in most everyday normal activities.

For these, I thank God and in Him I Trust.

Comment Posting

Was told by some that they cannot post comments.

I had removed all restriction except for Comment word verification to prevent spam.

The happenings on Sunday, 7 Oct 2012

As I had said before, having cancer really does change a person’s perspective in life.

Went to church today and was greeted by a lot of people, people who knew about my circumstances and situation. Very thankful to God that he had placed so many people around me who are concerned and are praying.

When I reached church and was at the car park, met a lady from church who said that she has a word from the Lord for me and had wanted to tell me about it but wasn’t sure if I’ll be in church today. And… I was there! She said that she was impressed by the Lord to tell me to read the Gospels, not sure which one but the impression was to first read Gospel of John.

During worship, various songs were sung but the one that stood out for me was ‘Hosanna’ by Paul Baloche & Brenton Brown. The pre-chorus goes like this:

Pre-Chorus:

'Cause when we see You,

We find strength to face the day

In Your Presence all our fears are washed away,

Washed away.

© 2006 Integrity's Hosanna! Music and Thankyou Music

I had highlighted the portion that held significant for me as indeed the Lord gave me strength to face the day and in His presence all my fears are washed away.

I had mentioned it in one of my earlier blog that there was no fear of the chemotherapy for God had granted me the grace and strength to go through it.

I was passing by The Central at Clark Quay about a week ago and saw a Chilis restaurant there. We had a wonderful experience when the family went to the Chilis at Tanglin Mall a couple of weeks ago and so decided to try the Chilis at The Central. Felt well enough back then to have a family outing but the main purpose was to go to Market Place at Tanglin Mall to buy Flaxseed oil that I could not find in NTUC. Subsequently found out that it was also available at Cold Storage.

Went to The Central early so that we can reserve a table and then go shopping (eh… to entertain Josie and Nathan…). When we reached the restaurant, found out that they are officially opened only on 10 Oct. I was initially disappointed but bumped into this guy who apologises about the restaurant opening and I explained that I drove by and saw the restaurant and had purposely came to have a meal there with the family. Guess what? It so happened that this guy is the restaurant manager and he informed us that today was their trial day for the restaurant and guests were invited to try the food and comment about the restaurant and since we had purposely came to restaurant, we were then “invited” to the restaurant trial. What it means basically was that we had our dinner for free except for the alcoholic beverages that Josie and my mom ordered since we pia-seh that we ate for free. We had to give feedback though and I was quite honest with my feedback and the restaurant manager was quite appreciative of it.

The nose bleed finally stopped!!!

The not so good things about today was that there was a minor altercation at home about some arrangement in the kitchen, not going to say too much as there is a Chinese saying that says, “the ugly things of the house should not be spread outside the house” and I think this saying also have significant in Christian living for we must learn to tolerate and forgive one another within the house for from the Father, every family in heaven and on earth derives its name.

For as stated in Ephesians 3:14-19:

14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, 16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.

Since generally I feel well, I need to be reminded constantly of God's grace and mercy lest I stray away from Him. There is already that temptation.  Perhaps that's the reason for the reminder to read the Gospel. Of course the remaining verses from Ephesians 3:14-19 held such significant for me as this passage contained uplifting words and that it also formed the lasting word that I had for Nathan and I trust God to grant to me as well what is spoken of in verse 16 to 19.

And thus In God I Trust

By the way, Alonso (Ferrari) crashed out on Lap 1 of the Suzuka Japanese Gran Prix… so sad. But Massa came in second… it’s a consolation. I support Alonso, not Ferrari. I had stopped supporting Ferrari ever since Michael Schumacher drove for Ferrari and if you are wondering, yes, F1 is my favorite sport. All time favorite drivers (living ones) are Mika Häkkinen, Fernando Alonso and Kimi Räikkönen in that order. Had the opportunity to work for the Singapore F1 GP in 2009 as Gate Manager and all thanks to another lady in church.

Chemotherapy Cycle #04 / Postponed

Sigh....

The chemotherapy session today had to be postponed because my platelet count had dropped below 100×10⁹ per liter. The reading now is 82×10⁹ per liter.  Two weeks ago, the reading was 126×10⁹ per liter.

You may think that I am a little crazy but I was actually looking forward to the chemotherapy but I guess it is because I want to get it over with and then go for the scan to see what the outcome is.

Saw the Oncologist today at 4:00pm and a couple of questions I had asked.

a) The low platelet count is expected and will have to rest for one more week to allow the platelet count to go up and the next chemo, the dose may be reduced to modulate for the low platelet count

b) I goit nose bleed and this is not expected. Got referred to ENT for review and see how to manage the nose bleed.

c) I've been flatulating a lot since the start of the chemo. Not much can be done and since there is no bloatedness and pain, just leave it as it is.

Other than the low platelet count, the red blood cells count, haemoglobin and haematocrit are marginally low but of no major concern at this point. Everything else is normal. The Oncologist was quite funny at this point and said that my readings are better than his.

My liver function is also good and in fact improving. There are 2 readings, the ALT and ALP that indicate the function of the liver and bile duct. Both readings used to be quite high. This was a surprise for the Oncologist but extremely good news.

Extracted from Wikipedia:

Alanine transaminase

Alanine transaminase (ALT), also called serum glutamic pyruvate transaminase (SGPT) or alanine aminotransferase (ALAT) is an enzyme present in hepatocytes (liver cells).

Alkaline phosphatase

Alkaline phosphatase (ALP) is an enzyme in the cells lining the biliary ducts of the liver. ALP levels in plasma will rise with large bile duct obstruction, intrahepatic cholestasis or infiltrative diseases of the liver. ALP is also present in bone and placental tissue, so it is higher in growing children (as their bones are being remodelled) and elderly patients with Paget's disease.

Essentially the ALT reading is still high but had reduced by half. The ALP is now in the normal range. Praise God for the improved clinical indication for the Liver!

One surprise for me was that the Chemotherapy is not for 4 cycles, it is for 12 cycles within a six months period.

Overall, all is well, the Oncologist was surprise when he saw me and said that I looked like a normal healthy person. It is a good indication. But all will be clearer when I go for a CT scan on 18 Oct. Do pray for improve clinical outcome.

Yesterday, during communion, we sang this hymn for closing.

STANDING ON THE PROMISES

Words and Music by R. Kelso Carter, 1849 – 1928

© Public Domain

Verse 1:

Standing on the promises of Christ my King,

Through eternal ages let His praises ring,

Glory in the highest, I will shout and sing,

Standing on the promises of God.

Chorus:

Standing, standing,

Standing on the promises of God my Saviour;

Standing, standing,

I’m standing on the promises of God.

Verse 2:

Standing on the promises that cannot fail,

When the howling storms of doubt and fear assail,

By the living word of God I shall prevail,

Standing on the promises of God.

Verse 3:

Standing on the promises I now can see

Perfect, present cleansing in the blood for me;

Standing in the liberty where Christ makes free,

Standing on the promises of God.

Verse 4:

Standing on the promises of Christ my Lord,

Bound to Him eternally by love’s strong cord,

Overcoming daily with the Spirit’s sword,

Standing on the promises of God.

Verse 5:

Standing on the promises I cannot fall,

Listening every moment to the Spirit’s call,

Resting in my Saviour as my all in all,

Standing on the promises of God.

We sang verse 1, 4 and 5. We seldom sing this hymn anymore but when I read the verses, how true isn't it? That almost in anything and everything, we stand on the promises of God. We trust in God and so we stand on the promises that He gave us.

At this point, in all honesty, I am hesitant to say that God had promised to heal me completely and thoroughly.  It is not that I don't trust in Him nor His promises. It is just that I have not reached the stage or state where I can truly say "I know His will". But still, on the premises of my believe, my trust in Him, the promises given by Him and my acknowledgement of His sovereignty that I say that I trust Him to do what is needed in His sovereign will for me and my family. This trust is unwavering and unconditional and I cannot denial Him nor ignore His sovereignty.

In God I Trust in Him I Must Obey.

Post-Chemotherapy Cycle #03 Comment #06

Not much to report except for the persistent nose bleeds.  Although not bleeding a lot, more like a trickle, I'm still a little worried because it is not healing. The hair continues to drop but at a slower pace.

The last couple of days are not good though...

• A cell group member's grandmother passed away.
• A worship ministry team member is warded in hospital in isolation.
• An elderly gentleman in church who was ill for quite a while had passed away.
• Some church members who are also diagnosed with cancer.

I'm not the only one suffering... for those who are praying for me, please pray too for others in who are also ill, we are all children of the Kingdom of God.

We need to pray and trust God to do what is needful. Never waiver, continue to persevere for those around you.

In God we must Trust.

Post-Chemotherapy Cycle #03 Comment #01

I have nothing really much to report.

Side-effects and stuffs like that are the same as last time. I still got the hiccups, the nausea, the tiredness... They were more severe yesterday but milder today. Not sleeping very well though but that's probably because of the pump and I cannot really move very much and I was perspiring despite the air-conditioning.

But thank God that I am holding up and controlling my food intake so that the sugar level does not spike too much. Learning to titrate my insulin injection more accurately to match the blood sugar level.

2 days before the therapy, I had nose bleed but fortunately it stop pretty fast. The platelet level was this time was the same as the last time which generally is good sign.  White cell count was normal and higher than previous count. Red cell count is lower though.

All in all, I think it is still good and praying continuously for healing.

Oh... seem like recently, there is like a lot of "coincidences" but we all know it is God's planning.  As part of my packing last week, I realised that I have one too many guitar. Not a really fantastic one that cost thousands but a functional one that still gives good tonal quality. I normally prefer guitars that is "sweet" and bright sounding. During the last few prayer meetings organised by Josie's brother, he was using his guitar to lead worship and I thought he might need a guitar with built in pickup and so asked him if he wanted my guitar. He told me that he was planning to buy a new guitar but now he doesn't need to if I'm going to give him mine.

Praise God for he providence.

I Trust In God

Chemotherapy Cycle #03 Comment (Updated 3rd time)

I had completed the 3rd Chemotherapy session today.

The thing I don't liked the most for the therapy, the nausea!! The only way I can described it is like been high on alcohol or like hangover but remaining lucid plus the added feeling of motion sickness. The stomach doesn’t feel well.

As expected, the side-effects this time round were slightly worse than session #02 but thank God that it is still tahan-able.

I still managed to keep the food down but the sugar level spiked again. Got to monitor the sugar level closely and take insulin injection. That's all for now and feeling very tired but other than that, I'm alright.

Josie's family had stepped forward and helped and I got to really give thanks because without them, the travelling and other arrangement would be more difficult:

• The first 2 chemotherapy sessions, Josie’s nephew was the driver and together with her niece, they accompanied Josie.
• Today’s therapy, Josie’s 5th sister and brother-in-law was going to help with the transport but they had a last minute family matter to attend to and so could not make it. Fortunately, Josie’s eldest brother-in-law volunteered to send us to TTSH.
• Josie niece again accompanied her the whole day. Josie’s second sister fetched us home. Transport for the 4th session has already been arranged and Josie’s 4th brother-in-law will help with the transport.

Other things the family helped with were:

• Josie’s elder sister helped with buying an entire Bull Fish (Ngoh-he) that is not cheap.
• The younger brother organised 3 family prayer meetings cum communion.
• The 5th Sister and brother-in-law accompanied us during a second-opinion at National Cancer Centre followed by the consultation in TTSH with the Oncologist.

What I wrote here concerning the help extended by Josie’s family is but a small part of the things they had done. They had continually prayed, supported and encourage Josie through this period.

Other people from church and colleague had also been helpful.

• The parents of one of the Cell Group member gave me tips and passed some items that was useful like a special washing liquid for vegetable. They understood what I am going through as they had also witnessed their daughter’s fight with lymphoma and succeeded and their grand-daughter’s fight with kidney cancer but the Lord had chosen to take her home.
• Pastor and a church worker for helping to organise communion the day before each therapy.
• Cell group members for the support.
• Another church member for brewing beef essence that is so good and delicious and loving every single drop of it.
• The books passed to me by another 2 church member, one of them a cancer survivor.
• Church members offer of items that are useful but declined because either I have them already or the item are not suitable.
• Colleague who is helping me buy Diabetic Nutrient Supplement from Abbott.
• Colleague/Office who loan me a BP machine that is normally sold for hospital use. Very accurate, far better than those few hundred dollars set purchased at the Pharmacy
• Others who in their small ways encourages me with prayers and messages.

Josie said this evening while I was typing this blog that our marriage is no accident and I believe her. That God in His infinite wisdom had proposed and put us together. I can only say that the biggest beneficiaries was me and I thank God for it and in some ways I feel obligated to her.

Oh... I gained 1/2kg since last week.

Got to stand firm and fight the disease and trusting in God to perform the miracle.

In God I Trust.

Post Your Comment (Updated on 7 Sept)

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May God Bless You.
In God I Trust.