Post-Radiotherapy: Chemotherapy Cycle #02 Treatment #02 / Follow-Up with Pallative Care Specialist

Last week was kind of a week that was difficult to get through. After the 2^nd Cycle’s 1^st treatment (Post-Radiotherapy), I had swelling (water-retention) is both legs for about 2 days. My whole constitution was quite messy as well. There was general pain in the abdominal area and it did not go away despite the Fentanyl patch and morphine. One of the side effects of the Fentanyl and morphine is constipation and it finally started to happen. I was not able to eat well and sleep well despite the lethargy.

On Thursdays (29^th August), I went for my blood test and the nurses also notice that I am generally not myself and they notice my tiredness too. This is in consideration that I am generally stoic and normally jovial whenever I go to the clinic.

That same day, I had an appointment with my Palliative Care Specialist and we reviewed my condition, my medication, dosages, etc. This was when I found out that part of the contributing factor towards the pain was probably the constipation and that I would need to start on my constipation medication and also to go back to the medication regime previously prescribed as on my part, I had try to reduce the dosage as much as possible. Out of a “no choice” situation, I had to stick with the original prescriptions/regime and also start on the laxative for the constipation.

As the blood test result was positive, the platelet count was 120+ and thus we proceeded with the chemotherapy on Friday (30^th August). God is good to me. Following the prescription and some precautionary steps, the water retention was really quite minimal (almost none). I was very tired for the first 2 days but today was kind of good and I was able to move about and spend some time with Josie and Nathan. I will have to monitor myself for the next few days and see how my constitution will be like and hopefully continue to be well enough for my 2^nd Cycle’s 3^rd treatment.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow,

Praise Him, all creatures here below,

Praise Him above, ye heavenly host;

Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost.

Amen.

In God We Trust and in Christ alone my hope is found.

Hebrews 11:10

Post-Radiotherapy: Chemotherapy Cycle #02 Treatment #01b

Specifically for the Chemotherapy, there was no major hiccup this time round on 22^nd August (Thursday) and 23^rd August (Friday).

The week before, I had developed water retention and my feet and calves were swollen for about 2 days before subsiding. On Thursday, there was still some slight swelling but not sufficient enough to be of major concern. My platelet count was 188 but because of my low haemoglobin and red cell count and the swelling, the preparation of my drugs was held off unit Friday as the nurses would like to see what my actual conditions are on Friday.

Come Friday, the swelling is still slight but not sufficient to cause major concern and so the therapy proceeded. All went well and I was home by about 1:00pm in the afternoon. Seem like all good things comes to an end at one time or another as things took a tumble on Saturday when my abdominal area went into a tailspin and I was having bloated-ness, pain on the left side (Stomach region) and on the centre (tumor region), did not pass motion for 1 day although there wasn’t that constipated feeling. The feet and calves swelled with the swelling subsiding only on Monday evening. I slept for practically the entire day on Saturday literally despite the noise from Nathan.

Slightly better today as you can see since I am able to blog but I am “tahaning” the tiredness and minor pain despite the morphine. Have an appointment with the Palliative Care Specialist next week and let’s see what she says then.

In God We Trust and in Christ alone my hope is found.

Hebrews 11:1

Post-Radiotherapy: Chemotherapy Cycle #02 Treatment #01a

I was supposed to have the first treatment of my 2^nd Cycle of Chemotherapy on 16^TH August and thus my blood test on 15^th August. However, on 15^th August morning around 5:00am, I developed a fever and it was as high as 39.5 ^oC. In actuality, as soon as I developed a high fever, I should have headed to TTSH’s Accident and Emergency Department to have a blood test done and for the observation but as with most of us including myself, I did what came purely automatically and popped 2 panadol and went back to sleep hoping that the fever will subside. The fever did subside and it was down to about 37.5^oC to 3.9^oC at around 8:30am.

There is an overlap to this entry as it happened on the same day as my appointment with my Palliative Care Specialist

Called the chemotherapy clinic at about 9:30am to update the nurses there and ask as to what I am supposed to do next and well… I got a ticking off from the nurse as I was not supposed to take the panadol. The simple reason been that the panadol could mask the primary cause of the fever and this would make follow-up and treatment difficult should the cause be something serious. It was also from here on that I had difficulty “restarting” posting on my blog as a whole host of events occurred that really make me feel unwell that I simply do not have the energy to do anything else especially blogging.

The nurse was “at a lost” as to what to do next and I told her that I have an appointment with the palliative care specialist that afternoon and thus I was told to proceed to TTSH anyway to have the blood test done and decide what to do next. Based on the blood test done on 15^th August, I should be able to proceed with the chemotherapy on 16^th August as my platelet count was very good at 250+. The first time it had hit 150+ since last August 2012. Long story short again, in the previous post, I had spoken about the situation and appointment with the Palliative Care Specialist, based on blood test result and consultation with Chemo-MO on duty, they will plan to proceed with my chemotherapy on 16^th August.

However on 16^th August, I was having this terrible backache like those that you get when you have a bad flu and you have aches all over your body especially the back. Checked with the Chemo-MO on duty and she checked with my Medical Oncologist and they concluded that better to be on the safe side and postpone my chemotherapy and put me on flu medical (i.e. Panadol and Antibiotic).

In God We Trust and in Christ alone my hope is found.

Hebrews 11:1

Post-Radiotherapy: Chemotherapy Cycle #01 Med-Oncologist Follow-up and Appointment with Palliative Care Specialist

Waited and tolerated all the pain and finally got to see my Medical Oncologist on 5th August (Monday).

Prior to all my appointment with my Medical Oncologist, a blood test will be done but the test consisted of more parameters than those needed for Chemotherapy. From the result, my haemoglobin and red cell count is somewhat on the low side and this is one reason why I am generally tired and “lack energy” and would tend to want to sleep.

With my Oncologist, we spoke, we talked and at one stage he used the word “palliative” again to describe my treatment and condition. In other word, he is treating me from the perspective of lengthening my life and making sure that I have at least some form of “quality of life”. In any case we have a different outlook with this regards. Anyway, we spoke also about the constant pain and he increased the dose of my Fentanyl patch to 75mcg. When I switched to this does, it does help somewhat but the pain did not go away, it simply was less intense. I had requested for a referral to a palliative care specialist and was careful not to “upset” his professionalism. He was very open about it and thought that it was probably a good idea to have the palliative care specialist assess and manage my pain situation.

The appointment with the Palliative Care Specialist was scheduled pretty quickly as I got a slot within a week of my follow-up with my Medical Oncologist on 15th August.

With the Palliative Care Specialist, we spoke a lot as I have to provide her with background information other than those that are already in my case-notes. She was patient and generally “affectionate” but then I was told all Palliative Care Specialist are generally such due to the type of patients that they attend to. To cut the long story short, she asked me about my pain, type, location, occurrences and morphine dosage. She did some quick calculation and I was told I could triple my morphine dose so that the pain could be effectively managed. Guess what? I tried it at home and it really helped. The pain was sort of “gone” for at least the full four hours in-between dose and for the week after that, life was sort of pleasant again. I was also given another pain killer that was supposed to help with the occasional sharp intense pain in the abdomen and that really helped too. Before this, the pain was simply a constant presence, always there and always disturbing. I was told just to watch out for constipation as both the Fentanyl and morphine has this side effect and also causes drowsiness.

Really thank God for this turnaround of event.

In God We Trust and in Christ alone my hope is found.
Hebrews 11:1

Post-Radiotherapy: Chemotherapy Cycle #01 Treatment #03

This entry is just going to be very simple and short. I had my blood test done on 1^st August (Thursday) and the platelet could was 188 x 10⁹/L. The result was good enough for the chemotherapy to proceed on 2^nd August (Friday).

There is still that pain in the abdominal region and I am just looking forward to my appointment with my Medical Oncologist and see what he can do to help with the pain.

In God We Trust and in Christ alone my hope is found.

Hebrews 11:1

Post-Radiotherapy: Chemotherapy Cycle #01 Treatment #02c

My apology for not posting anything closed to a month now especially to those who were following my blog regularly. There will be quite a number of updates and I will be posting them in separate entries in order to keep it in chronological sequences and short per entry so that it would be easier to track the sequence of events. As I am trying to remember as much as I can of the events that had occurred over the last one month, the details of which may not be accurate but I’ll try to recollect as much and as accurately as possible.

I had my blood test done on 18^th July (Thursday), the platelet count dropped to 94 x 10⁹/L. This result was kind of on the borderline and I was asked to have another blood test done on 19^th July (Friday) to see if the platelet count is on the uptrend or downtrend. The result on 19^th was 73 x 10⁹/L, too low for the chemotherapy to proceed. I’ll just have to rest one more week and see what happens next.

On the following week, I had my blood test done on 25^th July (Thursday) and the platelet count was 145 x 10⁹/L, good enough for the chemotherapy to proceed on 26^th July (Friday).

Nothing much to report specifically for the chemotherapy as everything was fine after the therapy and I was feeling relatively well except that it was also from here onward that I had stopped posting on my blog as a whole host of events occurred thereafter that really made me feel unwell so much so that I simply do not have the energy to do anything even blogging.

Anyway I was having constant pain in the abdominal region for about 2 weeks after the chemotherapy and that it really bothered me such that I could not eat much, sleep or focus on the things I wish to do. I was in a terrible mess, curling up to sleep, enduring the occasional sharp pain that would shoot up my abdomen and at one stage, the pain was so bad that I almost wanted to admit myself to TTSH. I had lost about 3kg of weight in the 2-3 weeks. However, God was good and He helped me endured that couple of weeks of occasional excruciating pain until 5^th Aug as the pain gradually eased off and I got to see my Medical Oncologist.

In God We Trust and in Christ alone my hope is found.

Hebrews 11:1

Post-Radiotherapy: Chemotherapy Cycle #01 Treatment #01

Last Friday was the first treatment for the first cycle of my first chemotherapy after my radiation-therapy. Went to the clinic not knowing what to expect but at least I know for the new regime, I do not have to carry a pump home and all the infusions are was done at the clinic.

Last week, I was progressively getting better from the Gastritis and started to feel and eat better although there were the occasional ups and downs. As I was sort of still recovering from the radiation induced gastritis, I was a bit apprehensive as to whether the chemotherapy would affect or make the gastritis worse. Therefore I was a little surprised that things turned out well enough on Friday and I was able to have a proper lunch and I was feeling well enough also in the evening. The next day though was another story. I was alright in the morning and went to Macdonald in the morning for Nathan’s weekly treat. A neighbor who is also a fellow church member was also at Macdonald and we had breakfast together and we chatted. That was around 10:00am in the morning. At around 11:00am, the side-effect (I assumed that it was the chemotherapy side effect) hit me like a ton of bricks and it was like a combination of all the things that I was suffering from in the last 3 weeks all coming together in that one moment. There was the pain, the bloated-ness, the feeling of wanting to vomit, the occasional sharp pain in the lower and upper abdomen, occasional sharp pain on the lower right chest where the liver is, the churning and spasm like those of gastritis. All in all, it was just bad, bad, bad… These lasted all the way through the day and into Sunday. Can’t eat but tried to and can’t sleep. Loaded myself with morphine but only helped moderately.

I am normally quite stoic but it was so bad on Saturday that I had resorted to “chanting” asking the Father in Jesus’ name to remove the tumor and pain and I kept repeating myself until I doze off at one stage.

Slightly better now but all the symptoms are still there but on a much reduced severity scale. Suspect that all these are part of the chemotherapy side-effects accentuated by the still recovering radiation gastritis. Suspect that the pain was that bad because I was also on the tail end (3^rd day) of the effectiveness of the fentanyl patch. Changed the patch last night and supplemented with morphine and overall I had a more comfortable night. At least I did not wake up from a sharp shock of pain from the abdominal region and I could sleep lying down instead of sitting.

Beyond these, I do now know if there is anything positive that I could report on but sadly I could really not think of any but the fact that I could still be writing now and report that I am doing better now compared to Saturday is a positive, that God is still with me and had helped carried me through the weekend. Last night, as my birthday is coming up, my mother cooked mee-suah in Bak-Ku-Teh soup base with pork ribs, kidney and liver, hard-boiled egg and Chai-Sin. Regardless of whether it is my birthday or not, that dish is one of my favorite and I guess it went in a great way towards opening up my appetite. Last night’s portion is roughly less than half of what I would normally had consumed when I am well.

What a way to celebrate my birthday but I am reminded of God’s goodness that I still have the opportunity to “celebrate” my birthday this year.

Yesterday, Josie received news that the sister of one of her closest friend was also diagnosed with Stage-IV cancer that had metastasised to multiple organ. Not certain what is the specific cancer but preliminary indication is pancreatic cancer but further test are been done. The metastasis is quite extensive and she is experiencing a lot of pain and I believe the pain is on a level that is far worse than mine. If you read this and have the time to pray for me, I ask that you pray for this sister as well, for God to comfort and sustain her and her family.

In God We Trust and in Christ alone my hope is found.

Hebrews 11:1

Radiotherapy: Update #29 to #31

Tomorrow will be my last radiotherapy session and concurrently I will cease the chemotherapy until the next review. It has been a long 6 weeks and the last two weeks was very tough for me with pain in both the upper and lower abdominal area. Nathan and Josie were sick for part of these periods and this added pressure to Josie as she has to bear the burden of taking care of Nathan and I could not rest well during those days that Nathan was at home and I also have to worry about catch the cough from him.

In the last 2 weeks, sleep was hard to come by and I had to up the morphine dosage so that I can sleep. Because of the pain, I don’t really feel like eating but I try to anyway just to keep the energy lever up but I started to lose some weight.

You can see from this picture that the cuticle and skin around the fingernails turned dark from the chemotherapy drugs.

What you are seeing is not a dirty feet. The dark areas are also due to the chemotherapy drugs and these areas are pressure sensitive and are somewhat numb with very slight pain when I put pressure on it.

Not everything was gloomy as Josie can testify to. I did get the cough but it was mild. The doctors were quite pleased with my progress as I showed relatively little or not so severe signs of the side effects. At least after tomorrow, I can look forward to having “rest” and hopefully the body will recover from the radio and chemotherapy.

Stand with me and Josie. Pray that I’ll recover my strength soon. I normally would not admit it but it was really difficult for me physically although I try not to show it. Two nights ago, I cried to God and almost cried myself to sleep because of the discomfort. Emotionally, I find it difficult to see Josie having to bear a greater burden.

In God We Trust and in Christ alone my hope is found.

Hebrews 11:1

Radiotherapy: Update #19 and Med-Oncology Appointment

There was a slight delay at the radiotherapy session today but managed to finished in time for me to reach TTSH for my appointment with my Med-Oncologist.

Nothing much to report concerning the radiotherapy as it had really becomes just a routine.

Today’s appointment with my Med-Oncologist was a follow-up midway through my radiotherapy and also a review of the concurrent oral chemotherapy drug I am taking. Everything seem to be as expected except for my weight but now that my Med-Oncologist had the chance to looked at the enzymes supplement that I am taking, it was modulated to allowed me to have more small meals instead for a few large meals. I was told to take my Glucerna nutrient supplement to help boost my weight and protein intake. The dose of my pain-killer was increased and hopefully it will help as I will start on the new dose tomorrow.

I mentioned about my lethargy and that I am sleeping a lot but I was told that it is very normal for a person who is undergoing radiotherapy that for some reason it causes lethargy and nothing really to worry about. I also mentioned about the bloated/nausea feeling immediately after each radiotherapy sessions and was again told that it is also not unexpected as the region irradiated is closed to the stomach. I will try to confirm this on Wednesday when I have my weekly follow-up with the Rad-Oncologist.

If you don’t get to see or hear from me or if there is some gaps in-between days of posting on my blog, it is because of the lethargy but other than that I am coping well. Nathan is not well and was down with fever yesterday. I am always worried about this kind of situation as hopefully I don’t catch the virus from him and fall sick.

In God We Trust and in Christ alone my hope is found.

Hebrews 11:1

Radiotherapy: Update #14 and #15

I had not posted any radiotherapy updates (#14) yesterday as there was really nothing “exciting” to report on and I was quite tired for the whole of yesterday and I slept for practically the whole day. Neither is there anything exciting to report on for today’s (#15) radiotherapy session.

I am taking Capecitabine, the chemotherapy drug and I am supposed to consume it in conjunction with the radiotherapy. In other word, when there is a break for radiotherapy for the weekend, I stop taking Capecitabine as well for the weekend. Not sure if the tiredness is due to the Capecitabine but I suspect that it is since I am generally “weak” and tire whenever I had my chemotherapy in the past. The good thing is that so far I have not experienced any of the nauseating side-effect of the chemotherapy drug but then I had consumed it for only the last 3 days including last Friday’s dose and may be just too early to tell.

Still trying to force myself to consume more food in terms of the quantity and supplementing it with Glucerna and I hope I would start gaining weight soon.

In God We Trust and in Christ alone my hope is found.

Hebrews 11:1

Radiotherapy: Update #12

The actual radiotherapy today was ok. There was a little hiccup with the Linear Accelerator’s computer system and a reboot had to be done before the radiotherapy could proceed and the whole process took an additional 10 minutes.

Today was also the weekly follow-up with the Rad-Oncologist. Same questions as last week like whether I feel ok, is there any nausea, is there any pain, etc? I had nothing new to report to the Rad-Oncologist except that my pain was getting slightly worse but I doubt that it is from the radiotherapy. Interestingly, I was told that the tumor may expand a little before the tumor cells starts to die. I had also told him that I was supposed to call TTSH to arrange for my oral chemotherapy. He was neutral to the chemotherapy and I just have to report to him if there are any side-effects.

Called TTSH’s Chemotherapy Clinic early in the afternoon and was told that the prescription for the oral chemo-drug was ready but I was told to go to the clinic too to have my Porta-Cath port flushed. I was prescribed Capecitabine and I am to consume the drug twice a day and in conjunction with my radiotherapy. Capecitabine is converted into 5FU (Fluorouracil) in the body and 5FU was one of the drugs used in my previous chemotherapy. Arrived in TTSH at about 4:30pm, had the port flushed and collected the drug and left at about 5:15pm.

There are supposed to be side effects and may be more pronounced when combined with Radiotherapy especially since the region of my therapy is near the stomach. I ask that you pray that there will be no side effects and as my pain is getting slightly worse, I ask that you pray for the pain to be reduced.  Pray too that the radiotherapy and chemo-drug will be effective against the tumor.

In God We Trust and in Christ alone my hope is found.

Hebrews 11:1

Radiotherapy: Update #11

This is a belated entry as I was really tired yesterday and thought that I’ll just skip one day and post this entry today. No real hoo-ha yesterday and it was just a regular radiotherapy session. On schedule I was supposed to the Rad-Oncologist yesterday but this was postponed till tomorrow.

I had another appointment yesterday in TTSH with my General Medicine Consultant for my diabetes. Told him I was not putting on weight and based on the information I gave him, he says it is most likely because I am not taking in sufficient nutrients (i.e. not eating sufficiently). This he derived as the amount of insulin that I am injecting now is 5 units less than what I used to give myself. I am trying to eat more but my appetite nowadays is not really big although given a choice, I can still consume more. Told my Consultant about the pain killer patch and the morphine and he was “ok” with me consuming more if it helps to alleviate the pain but from an overall management perspective, we both agree that it should be managed on a regular basis by my Med-Oncologist. On another issue, I told him that my stool is getting lighter I colour although not white. He thought that maybe the bilirubin was not excreted out but then I am not jaundice either and so it was kind of strange and since I will be having an appointment with my Med-Oncologist on 13 May, I was advised to monitor the situation until then and if the stool turn white to get an immediate appointment with the Gastroenterologist or my Med-Oncologist.

Other than this appointment, I went to the Chemotherapy Clinic to arrange for a blood test and chemotherapy as suggested by my Med-Oncologist. The clinic staff called him immediately and was told to have my blood taken for tests and that’s was it at TTSH. A couple of hours later I received a call from my Med-Oncologist and was told that my liver panel looks good and I could actually resume my chemotherapy but on oral form rather than by infusion. In my mind, I was thus very curious as to the colour of my stool but I did not mention this to my Med-Oncologist over the phone. The lab test is a far more accurate assessment of the health status of my liver.

For the chemotherapy, he said that he do not see any real benefit for the chemotherapy at this point and would rather wait for the radiotherapy to be completed first as he was also concerned about the possible combined side-effects from radiotherapy and chemotherapy. I told him that so far I feel well and would rather have the chemotherapy. If nothing happens, then so be it but if there is a possibility no matter how small of possible benefit, I rather go for it then. He was ok with it and asked me to call the Chemotherapy Clinic on Thursday to have the nurses there call him and arrange for the therapy. He was also ok with me consuming more of the morphine in order to alleviate the pain.

So that’s it. I’ll see what happens tomorrow with regards to my chemotherapy.

In God We Trust and in Christ alone my hope is found.

Hebrews 11:1

Pre-Chemotherapy Cycle #10 Comment #04 / Oncologist Appointment

I had an Oncologist appointment today and if I had proceeded with my chemotherapy today, he would have seen me at the therapy room instead of his clinic.

Seem what I am going through is not unexpected:

1)      The interval of the therapy is kept at 4 weeks due to my past platelet “recovery” pattern plus having reached the 10^th cycles, it is not at all unexpected.

2)      The persistence tingling and numbness in my fingers and toes again is not unexpected and due to one specific chemo-drug used in my therapy. He was telling me that some patient having reached this stage of their chemotherapy cannot even hold a pen with their fingers due to the numbness. I guess with me experiencing only tingling and numbness now is a good sign. If it persist and gets worse, my Oncologist may want to stop the chemotherapy and move on to radiotherapy or simply stop the chemo for a longer period before resuming chemotherapy.

3)      Currently, chemotherapy is the preferred therapy method and only when I completed 12 cycles would my oncologist move me to radiotherapy. However, if I am not able to tolerate my 10^th cycle, he may just request for a CT scan, check for progress and move me straight to radiotherapy and then possible back to chemotherapy.

4)      I am experiencing what is termed “Anticipatory Nausea”. Basically, I experience signs of nausea even before I start my chemotherapy. One of those psychological things. He is prescribing anti-nausea medication for me to take 2 days before my therapy is ease the symptoms.

5)      I have been experiencing “bloated-ness” and pain in my abdominal area after meals for the last 2 weeks. The bloated-ness could be due to greasy or oily food and the pain could be due to my pancreatitis as the pancreas is trying to work to digest the food and process the nutrients. The feeling is not pleasant. For a normal person, usually some antibiotics, rest and drips will help but in my case, not much could be done but I have to watch my diet and rest.

This is clinical update so far.

I ask for prayer that I can complete all 12 rounds of chemotherapy before moving to radiotherapy.  Might need a break but I’ll hear what the Oncologist advises.

I’ve gain another kilogram in the last one month but this is not really good. I got to wautch my diet and weight.

In Him We Trust.

Chemotherapy Cycle #09 Comment #03

I woke up fine this morning, spent the morning in my room as I was somewhat lethargic and shut the door. Lunch was ok and things are generally good and then I headed to TTSH to have my pump removed. Did a couple of things:

a)      Change one of my medical appointment

b)      Get an extra copy of my inpatient bill

c)      Change monies for the Chinese New Year

d)     Brought some diabetic biscuit at a shop for diabetics

e)      Top up some grocery at NTUC.

Got home at about 3:30pm and was so tired that I slept at about 4pm and woke up at about 5pm and that was when the lethargy really hit. Don’t really have strength to do any more heavy works.  Much better now but a little weak and you will probably be able to hear it in my voice if you are talking to me.

With each cycle, things are looking up in terms of the prognosis but the body is also getting weaker in terms of tolerating the side effects but with God’s help, I persevered and God had helped me through. I try as far as possible to write positive things and to help encourage those that read my blog, to find strength in God, in Jesus, to know that He will carry us in the darkness moments of our lives and He never fails.

I’d sent 2 songs to the Worship Leaders in Church and one of them replied with a song by Matt Redman, Jason Ingram & Tim Wanstall by the title of “Never Once” and the chorus goes like this:

Never once did we ever walk alone,
Never once did You leave us on our own.
You are faithful, God, You are faithful.

Although I had replied that the words does not convey my feeling strong enough as He is far more to me than the words in this particularly song but at this particular moment, it does make sense.

Let’s just say that certain happened today that really made both me and Josie despaired and especially for me, I questioned whether I really want to live longer. It is not a good thought especially since God had been so good to me, Josie and Nathan.  It is probably escapism but sometime it is the only thought that can bring some relieved as in there is an “escape” route. BUT and I say BUT that is not the thought that God would want me to think. He is gracious and will not let me bear beyond what I can tolerate.

He is Good all the time and In Him We Trust

Chemotherapy Cycle #09 Comment #02

Sorry, did not post last night about my chemotherapy.  Got home at about 3:00pm and I was quite tried and lethargic. Slept for about an hour, had dinner, watch a bit of TV and slept early.

This morning, I was feeling quite alright but a little slow. The blood sugar level is playing havoc again but it will go off after I stop my oral anti-nausea medication.  Sent Josie to work and headed to TTSH as I have a medical appointment with my Diabetes doctor.  All is well and I just need to monitor my blood glucose and diet.

The thing that really struck this morning was when I started the car and the 1^st words that came out of the CD play were “Faithful One”.  It is the starting line from a song by “The Royal Royal” and it really hit both me and Josie about how good God is and how He is the “Faithful One. I firmly believe that this is not a coincident as there is a short instrumental to this song but the very fact as soon as the CD player came one, it straight away played the words “Faithful One”.

HOW WONDERFUL
Words and Music by Gabriel Finochio, Nathaneal Finochio, Joel Augo and Matthew Crocker
© 2011 Sony/ATV Timber Publishing / NFinochio Music / The paradigm collective (SESAC).

Verse 1
Faithful One
My soul cries Faithful One
Holy One
You are the Holy One

Pre-Chorus
Greatest name
Unashamed I worship You with all I am
And all I am will sing to You

Chorus
How wonderful is Your name oh Lord
How beautiful is Your name oh Lord
All powerful is Your name oh Lord
I'll forever praise Your name oh Lord
And I'll worship, yes I'll worship You

Verse 2
Close to You
My heart draw close to You
Unto You
I lift my hands to You

Bridge
How wonderful
How glorious
How beautiful
Is Your name oh Lord

Have a listen on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9R5ybH3Q6I
The YouTube version is their off the cuff, unplugged version

I guess for this week, this song will be my heartbeat.

In God We Trust

Chemotherapy Cycle #09 Comment #01

Being able to post "on the go" kind of have its advantage although I do not know it I will succumb to the temptation of posting what I will term "irrelevance". It would be a topic for another post.

Anyway, I'm having my chemotherapy now. Started at about 9:15am with inserting the lines and the prep but the chemo drugs were infused at about 10:10am. The nurses who knew about my improvements are happy for me.

It's the 9th cycle and this will be the last series of 4 cycles before the review. This battle can be said to be the final 'conventional' push as the focus is on the primary pancreatic tumor.

In God We Trust.

Chemotherapy Cycle #08 Comment #01

Finally, I got to proceed with the 8^th Chemotherapy. Platelet level is at 95 but happy to report that all the other test results are in the “normal” range include my red cell count and haemoglobin level that were is the past just below the normal readings.

There was a little hiccup with the lab results and the chemo started late.

The stomach is very queasy, more so than the past and not feeling too good in the intestine and bowels too. Blood glucose already spiked.

See how things are tomorrow.

In God We Trust

Chemotherapy Cycle #08 Comment #01 / Postponed

My scheduled 8^th chemotherapy was supposed to be on New Year Eve, 31 Dec. As it is the eve of a holiday, the blood test was done today so that my therapy could start earlier on Monday but the test result came back with my platelet count at 75. In other word, my chemotherapy is postponed till another day to be decided on Monday when my Oncologist can have a look at my results.

Again, a little upset with the delay.

I guess looking at the situation, Psalm 131 read during communion on Wednesday was  inspired as I have also written that Verse 1 speaks of what I had learnt, Verse 2 on what I aspire to achieve and Verse 3, my faith and hope in God. God is probably telling me to be “composed and quieted my soul” and continue to “hope in the LORD, from this time forth and forever”

It is also probably God’s way of allowing me to support Josie through this period as her company is experiencing some difficulties and she will be very busy and do not need another distraction if I were to have my chemotherapy on this coming week. She may also need to travel in the middle of January and my therapy’s postponement will mean that she will be travelling during my non-therapy week.

Josie’s father was discharged from TTSH on Friday and this also alleviated certain concerns and put the family at ease.

I believe once again, God showed His grace and mercy and planned things for the benefit of His children thus In God I Trust.

Chemotherapy Cycle #07 Comment #01

Underwent Cycle #07 of chemotherapy today. The platelet count is still low at 78 but the duty oncologist allowed the therapy to proceed as he says that the platelet count is on the upswing. I will have to be careful about getting cut, bumps and bruises as the upswing in platelet count may stop due to the therapy today. It should not get too low until it hits the the dangerous level but I got to be careful none the less.   

Nothing special to report about the therapy today but is when I got home that things took a sort of down turn. Before I carry on, don’t worry, nothing serious happened. I just feel under the weather after reaching home, probably the worse I felt so far. I still can keep the food down but the “unwell” feeling a just a sort of “general” feeling, nothing I can put a finger on.

In God I Trust.

Chemotherapy Cycle #07 Comment / Postponement (Updated)

Sigh… Not possible to proceed with chemotherapy today. A little upset but then I believe God once again has His plan and there is no worry with regards to the postponement.

The platelet count had dropped to 63, the lowest so far. The previous low was 66.  During the next appointment with the oncologist, I may suggest that the therapy cycle be changed to 3 weeks instead of 2 weeks. The final call still belongs to the oncologist though.

Today’s postponement also gave me an opportunity to spend time with Josie that is getting more difficult to come by now that Nathan is demanding more attention from Josie. Additionally, it gave me an opportunity to share with Josie my mindset concerning God, His sovereignty, His will, His faithfulness, His lovingkindness, how it is everlasting and to all generation. Josie also shared with me about her thoughts and how it was difficult for her to initially accept my stand but she also realized why I believe what I believe and received her support as my wife and companion. Anyway, this is also the topic for another blog, akan datang...

There are friends who are concerned and would like to meet up with me. I guess this 1 week period would be an opportunity to catch up with old friends but I am also mindful that I need to rest to build up strength and allow the body to replenish the platelets.

Double cheers!!!

In God I Trust