On 15 February, I received a comment from a person named Cameron with somewhat of a cryptic message. I was somewhat hesitant to reply just in case he is a Phisher or Spammer and so I had set up an email account just for the purpose of communicating, receiving comments and tracking for my blog. I wrote to Cameron and to keep the long story short, Cameron is a caregiver as his wife Heather who had suffered and is a survival of Mesothelioma and I agreed to post a link to his blog at: http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/authors/cameron
I may not agree with everything that he said nor endorse some of his thoughts but there are a lot of things in his messages that I can empathised with and at least one thing that I would agree with him is that the role of a Caregiver is not an easy one and entails huge amount sacrifices and if I can quote Cameron when he said:
“I know what it means to be a husband, a father, and a best friend, but the term caregiver still confuses me. Most people would define a caregiver as the unpaid loved ones who provide physical and emotional care to someone who has been diagnosed with cancer. Caregivers may be spouses, partners, family members, or close friends and most often they are not trained for the job. Caregivers are there for their loved one 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for months or even years. As well as physical and emotional support, a caregiver may help with finances, travel, meals, shopping, cleaning, bathing, daycare, and more. Caring for someone with cancer takes time and money and far too often it takes a toll on the caregiver’s health and well-being. Caregiving is a hard job!”
I know that some of you readers do not like long post but I ask that for this post that you bear with me and read till the end as I speak about Josie and her love for me.
To quote Cameron further:
“If I learned anything during this difficult time it was to accept the offers of help from others, and to take comfort in the fact that having the ability make choices, although extremely challenging, was a way for us to maintain a level of control during a time of such uncertainty.”
“While there are many things about my wife’s cancer that I am angry about, I’m no longer consumed by this emotion. I have made a decision to live not in fear, but to treat each day as special, a gift. I also use my time and energy to work toward an asbestos free world and better treatments for mesothelioma. I find I am both happier and more productive now that I am no longer in anger’s grasp, and I hope that for all those who find themselves overwhelmed with anger, that they find a way to move on to a happier more productive emotion.”
“I no longer place an emphasis on items that can be replaced. If something can be bought or built, it can be replaced. It‘s the things I can’t replace that I value. Friendship, love, and family just to name a few. One of the results of my new values is a greater emphasis on holidays and tradition.”
“Having had years to think about what is important to me after Heather’s diagnosis, I realize why that day means so much more to me. What I wasn’t seeing while I was sitting at the table being ashamed and feeling overwhelmed was the fact that I was surrounded by family, who on a moments notice dropped everything to be by our side. Family that was willing to help us out in any way the could. While my pride and hubris blinded me to this fact for years, it is something that I can see very clearly now. Since that day, Heather and I have been overwhelmed by all the support we received from family and friends, as well as complete strangers.”
Sound familiar?
For those who had been following my blog, you will know where I had placed my emphasis and some of Cameron’s thoughts do not differ very much from mine.
I had initially decided to hold off on this post as there were a few more things I would like to accomplish before coming back to this topic but last Sunday's was the Dioceses Women’s Sunday in our church and it gave the extra emphasis for me to start and quickly post this blog.
Ever since I was suspected of having Pancreatic Cancer in July 2012, Josie had been by my side as friend, lover and wife throughout my journey up till even two hours ago when we prayed together for God to remove the pain in my abdominal area. Without her I would not know how I would be able to cope emotionally as other than God and Jesus, Josie had been my physical pillar and comforter. Oh… the amount of tears she had shed for me and in her supplication to Jesus. More than that, the role she has to play as a mother to Nathan who was only 13 months old at that time and daughter-in-law and also continue to hold down her job despite the difficulties that she is facing at her workplace. There is much I can say but Cameron had said most of what I need to say about Caregiver with regards to this post.
I may sound like a broken record but PLEASE PLEASE cherish your loved ones, your spouse, your family, friends and those around you even if they are not close but are supporting you none the less and above all, give all to God so that you may gain all.
There is no misery in my suffering because I felt God’s love and the love of my wife and cherished ones.
In God We Trust.
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