Clinical Update, March 2013, #02 / Pre-Radiotherapy Consult #01

I saw the Radiotherapist today and this is basically what’s going to happened next.

The latest CT scan report indicates that the Liver is alright except that the common duct and some biliary ducts are dilated (bigger) but is not the cause of my stomach pain and spasm. Everything else concerning this scan remains the same as compared to the last scan but there is definitely a new tumor tissue growing in the head of pancreas region. The pain and spasm that I am experiencing is possibly due to the tumor pressing again the stomach and small intestine obstructing the stomach outlet and the bile duct and this may be related to my higher ALP number.

My Oncologist feels that the existing chemo-drugs used could be losing its effect and is causing neuropathy which could explain my continued numbness and tinkling in my fingers and toes.

Between the Oncologist and Radiotherapist, they both agree that I should move on to radiotherapy as soon as possible. Based on my age, past tolerance to therapy side effects as well as general improvement and depending on initial outcome and my liver function test, chemotherapy may be employed concurrently but with a different drug. Also they will be employing more aggressive treatment, i.e. higher dose of radiation that could be modulated if I do not tolerate it well.

There will be some side effects and because of the region treated, common side effects could be nausea, tiredness, diarrhea and darkening of the skin around the therapy region. Although rare, long term side effects could include perforation of the small intestine and damage to the liver.

The therapy will start very soon. As TTSH is under-capacity at this point because they are changing to a new machine, I am referred to NUH for my radiotherapy. I will be having a therapy planning CT scan done on Monday, 11 March and the actual therapy will start on 20 March for 6 weeks, Monday to Friday. Yes, you read it correctly, every day except weekends for the 30 days. The procedure is relatively fast lasting about 30-40 minutes from start of session till end.

Well, that is as much as I know and can share for now.

This is a new phase in the journey and there are relatively much unknowns. This creates a lot of uncertainty and confusion in terms of thoughts and feelings. In actual fact, I am not really uncomfortable with going for radiotherapy but it is the current pain and spasms that is bothering me and knowing that I have to live and cope with it until the therapy and hopefully some relief of the pain that is creating the anxiety. Mentally I am alright but like having anticipatory nausea from the chemotherapy, I think right now I am suffering from some form of anticipatory anxiety. I can’t put my finger to it but it could be that there was relatively little pain when I was going through chemotherapy that I was able to bold and stand firm in Jesus. Now with the constant pain and from it a lack of sleep, it is difficult to put a smile on the face.

Sometime I think God has a sense of humour and of course knows what we are and will be going through and had thus inspired my previous blog “By Faith Give All to Gain All”. I thought that my blog would be an instrument to encourage others but in this case, it is an instrument to encourage myself and help me to push on, reminding me of my faith in Him and to know that he will carry me through.

A few days ago, someone from church sent me an old song “He Will Carry You” by Scott Wesley Brown and how appropriate for this moment in my life and I believe too for Josie.

HE WILL CARRY YOU

Words and Music by SCOTT WESLEY BROWN

© Copyright 1982 Birdwing Music/Cherry Lane Music Publishing Co., Inc.

Verse:

There is no problem too big He cannot solve it,

There is no mountain too tall He cannot move it;

There is no storm too dark God cannot calm it,

There is no sorrow too deep He cannot soothe it.

Chorus:

If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders,

I know my brother the He will carry you;

If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders,

I know my sister that He will carry you.

Tag:

He said,

"Come unto Me all who are weary, and I will give you rest."

In God We Trust.

Hebrew 11:1