I am still waiting for TTSH to call me concerning my chemotherapy.
The last few days were a challenge for me. Trying to eat and I still can eat and some food does get past the stomach but a substantial quantity gets stuck in the stomach and these needs to be cleared every now and then. Vomiting is indeed a daily affair now and very often for several times a day. Drinking water is also a challenge as it adds to the bloated-ness but when I do need to vomit, water helps to push the yucky stuff out.
I can tell that I am losing fat and muscle mass and I lost another 1kg+ in the last one week. I may have to go on a higher sugar intake for the energy and to help to reduce the muscle mass lost.
The jaundice is not improving but that is to be expected from the obstructed bile duct. The eyes are more yellow now and the skin has a touch of yellow and fairly obvious.
Can wait for the radiotherapy to start on Wednesday because for now, that is the best solution to shrink the size of the tumor and relieve the pressure on the stomach and the bile duct. For the bile duct, a stent can be inserted to help with the flow but with my impending radiotherapy, not sure if that is an option for the immediate future. As for the stomach, I am not sure how to ease the pressure except to eat more soft diet or go on liquid supplement.
Spiritually, the challenge is to remain strong for the family and to God. Previously, it was easy to say the “good” things because you can see God working with general improvement in my condition. With the recent turn of event, the situation is different as I am undergoing actual “suffering” so to say and focusing on God becomes an effort rather than norm. I am kind of incline to think that God is also at work in this aspect because if things had been really “bad” from the start, would I have the mental clarity to develop the faith and dependency on Him? It is perhaps God’s grace and mercy at work here to strengthen me for the tougher journey ahead having taught me to regard Him in everything, the good, the bad, the highs and the lows. I have no doubt about God’s grace and mercy and my faith in Him. Although it is a challenge to maintain that faith but if I can get through this, knowing that God is with me, I know my faith would have weathered the storm and would be stronger. Therefore, as was the case in the past, it will be moving forward that in God we trust and I cling on to the assurance of things hoped for.
On a happier note, Formula1 started yesterday in Australia. So wonderful now that I can get it on Starhub TV and I am still boycotting Singtel Mio. My 2 favorite drivers, Kimi and Alonso were on the podium in 1st and 2nd place respectively. So happy… So much for Seb, he is good only in a good car, on equal footing, he can never be better than Alonso and the Iceman is just so cool.
In God We Trust
Hebrew 11:1
Dear brother , Cheer up
ReplyDeleteAnd because Christ, our mercy seat, covers us with His blood, we are under God’s protection. We are in the secret place of the Most High, abiding under the shadow of the Almighty. Here, no evil will befall us, nor will any plague come near our dwelling. (Psalm 91:9–10) In the secret place of the Most High, we are favored and kept safe from all harm! amen.